“Number 1: how much hair do you think I need? Number 2: I had JUST noticed that the edge hair around here was looking rather skimpy….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Number 1: how much hair do you think I need? Number 2: I had JUST noticed that the edge hair around here was looking rather skimpy….” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[327,1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3386","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hair","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-SC","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4294,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-eric-holder\/","url_meta":{"origin":3386,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to Eric Holder,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 16, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI really like all of the hair that grows out of your face, especially your mustache. Your eyebrows, too, are rather appealing. It makes me want to take an Oreo cookie, twist it open and greedily eat the cream. Then I want to take the two wafers and rub them\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4291,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-blonde-woman-in-leather-pants-whose-hair-was-the-same-color-as-her-ivory-sweater\/","url_meta":{"origin":3386,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the blonde woman in leather pants whose hair was the same color as her ivory sweater,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 12, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI\u2019ll keep this short. Hair mask.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2426,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-on-a-questionable-hair-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":3386,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to herself on a questionable hair day,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cLady, next time you squeeze a more-than-quarter-sized dollop of hair gel into your hand, \u00a0just scrape some of it into the sink. This is especially true if you don\u2019t even know when you last relaxed your hair. Otherwise, you will catch a glimpse of yourself in your car window and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3299,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-rod-stewart\/","url_meta":{"origin":3386,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to Rod Stewart,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThough, finding myself on the wrong side of this behavior too many times, I am opposed to one stranger reaching out to touch the hair of another without permission. That said, if I ever find myself in close proximity to you, I am going to try to touch your hair.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2401,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-with-the-morris-day-hair\/","url_meta":{"origin":3386,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the man with the Morris Day hair,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI couldn\u2019t help myself. Your hair caught my eye early this morning. I didn\u2019t want to be all obvious about getting a closer look. I\u2019m afraid that this made me behave in a creepy fashion, inching my car slowly forward and looking at you not by turning my head, but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3000,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-gerald-ford\/","url_meta":{"origin":3386,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to Gerald Ford,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 20, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI have been thinking this ever since I visited Grand Rapids. You really knew how to wear a suit. \u00a0Also, you knew how to bald gracefully, a sign of your character in an age of hair.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3386","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3386"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3386\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3386"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3386"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3386"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}