{"id":3469,"date":"2014-07-25T18:40:11","date_gmt":"2014-07-25T23:40:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/openletters\/?p=2096"},"modified":"2014-07-25T18:40:11","modified_gmt":"2014-07-25T23:40:11","slug":"in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-with-the-long-weave-and-exposed-buttocks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-with-the-long-weave-and-exposed-buttocks\/","title":{"rendered":"In an open letter to the woman with the long weave and exposed buttocks,"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8221; Girl, you remind me of a DJ assault song.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8221; Girl, you remind me of a DJ assault song.&#8221; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-TX","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4425,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-dj-assault\/","url_meta":{"origin":3469,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to DJ Assault,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 1, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cEven though I understand in my heart that your lyrics weren\u2019t meant to be pondered thoroughly, I so often feel confused if I think about your words at all.\u2019\u00a0","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3120,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-term-break-me-off-a-little-piece\/","url_meta":{"origin":3469,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the term, \u201cbreak me off a little piece,\u201d","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 21, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou remind me of a bit of crispy meat from a roast. You remind me of that little piece that you want to just grab before anyone can know that you had it, that piece that you devour and enjoy even if you get burned\u2026. You know, the more I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2773,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself\/","url_meta":{"origin":3469,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to herself,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 20, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSo, you know how thirsty dogs drink from their bowls all shameless and sloppy. If you consistently remind yourself of that when you drink water, then you are waiting too long to hydrate. Just looking out for you.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2549,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-wayward-breasts-i-saw-today\/","url_meta":{"origin":3469,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the wayward breasts I saw today,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 16, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThank you. Apparently free form is your thing! More power to you. But I am thanking you because you remind me that these days I like to keep my girls on a short leash. In fact, after what I saw today, I\u2019m thinking of adding tape to my regimen.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2550,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-wayward-breasts-i-saw-today-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":3469,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the wayward breasts I saw today,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 16, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThank you. Apparently free form is your thing! More power to you. But I am thanking you because you remind me that these days I like to keep my girls on a short leash. In fact, after what I saw today, I\u2019m thinking of adding tape to my regimen.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2369,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-son-4\/","url_meta":{"origin":3469,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to her son,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 22, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSweetie, I figured out what you remind me of when you\u2019re dancing. A chicken. You tuck your hands in, and then begin to flap. Then you start this pecking motion with your head. Now what you\u2019re doing with the rest of your body, I don\u2019t have that part figured out\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;parenthood&quot;","block_context":{"text":"parenthood","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/parenthood\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3469"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3469\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}