“I saw you cut in line. May you avoid an overdose.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I saw you cut in line. May you avoid an overdose.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3473","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-U1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3342,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-joe-biden-lookalike-she-saw-this-week\/","url_meta":{"origin":3473,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the Joe Biden lookalike she saw this week,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 21, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou were driving behind me. I noticed you in my rear view mirror. As I stared at you, I think that you felt the heat of my gaze. I think it made you uncomfortable. That is the most sympathetic reason I can use to justify the way that you began\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3072,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-twitching-eye\/","url_meta":{"origin":3473,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to her twitching eye,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIf I start running again, will you cut that out?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5271,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2018\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-better-angels-of-my-nature\/","url_meta":{"origin":3473,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the better angels of my nature,","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cPlease help me avoid asking that man if he dyes his very thick, very dark mustache.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5449,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2021\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-old-people-who-aggressively-cut-me-off-in-the-parking-lot\/","url_meta":{"origin":3473,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the old people who aggressively cut me off in the parking lot,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 3, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI\u2019m not going to wish you a serious health problem\u2026just a few days of diarrhea which leaves your tissue-like butt skin raw for a few days.\u201d\ufeff","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3596,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-lady-whose-pockets-i-can-see-peeking-out-from-the-bottom-of-her-cut-off-shorts\/","url_meta":{"origin":3473,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the lady whose pockets I can see peeking out from the bottom of her cut-off shorts,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI can see your rump. And I think we are about one half centimeter away from me seeing some of your more gender specific parts.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2534,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-pregnant-woman-who-shimmied-and-squeezed-in-order-to-avoid-walking-the-long-way-to-the-elliptical-machine-next-to-mine\/","url_meta":{"origin":3473,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the pregnant woman who shimmied and squeezed in order to avoid walking the long way to the elliptical machine next to mine,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cMa\u2019am, I know that I am one of those people who can be weird about personal space, but next time you get on a gym machine directly next to someone else, you might not want to wear the perfume that makes the person next to you feel like she\u2019s tasting\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3473","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3473"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3473\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3473"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3473"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3473"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}