“I’m sure you mean well, I guess, but despite my politeness, I will not be calling what appears to be your personal number that you jotted down on the back of your business card. I think that if I do come back to DC that I can manage without any ‘help.’ Thanks for the offer though….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I’m sure you mean well, I guess, but despite my politeness, I will not be calling what appears to be your personal number that you jotted down on the back of your business card. I think that if I do come back to DC that I can manage without any ‘help.’ Thanks for the offer […] <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3597","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-W1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5163,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/09\/hard-to-deux-break-up-cards\/","url_meta":{"origin":3597,"position":0},"title":"Hard to Deux: Break Up Cards","author":"admin","date":"September 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"A while ago, in a conversation with my bestie, I joked that there should be break up greeting cards. He and I went back and forth about the idea for a while and had some good, loud, belly-shaking laughs. The breakup card is, you know, something to help a person\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "projects"","block_context":{"text":"projects","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/projects\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/09\/img_5906.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3386,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-have-me-a-card-for-a-hair-extensions-business\/","url_meta":{"origin":3597,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the woman who have me a card for a hair extensions business,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cNumber 1: how much hair do you think I need? Number 2: I had JUST noticed that the edge hair around here was looking rather skimpy\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3128,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-people-who-make-garters\/","url_meta":{"origin":3597,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the people who make garters,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 21, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cDo you all have a product for wild sleepers who manage to consistently lose their socks in the bed? Being active in your sleep doesn\u2019t mean your feet don\u2019t get cold. There\u2019s a market out there for you; I\u2019m sure of it.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2448,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-guy-who-pulled-up-beside-me-to-ask-me-if-im-single\/","url_meta":{"origin":3597,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the guy who pulled up beside me to ask me if I\u2019m single,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cOh, hi! Thanks for reminding me why I don\u2019t walk outdoors as much as I used to. I guess everyone can benefit from a little dose of reality.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5003,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-gentleman-who-diagnosed-the-problem-with-my-washing-machine\/","url_meta":{"origin":3597,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the gentleman who diagnosed the problem with my washing machine,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 14, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cHi! I\u2019m glad that you were able to tell me what the problem is. Thanks for that. I guess that I also appreciate your admiration of my president Pez dispensers. I was less of a fan of the way that you walked around them so that you could fully take\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3593,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-cat-caller-who-tried-to-shame-me-this-afternoon\/","url_meta":{"origin":3597,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the cat caller who tried to shame me this afternoon,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 21, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cContrary to the many things you said toward me as I refused to respond to your yelling, I don\u2019t think that I\u2019m better than other people. I simply don\u2019t respond to cat calls. It\u2019s a personal rule. 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