“Hey, I know this could be called eavesdropping. But I have to tell you, I never, ever would have noticed how pale and soft you were if you weren’t talking so loudly and with so much disdain and criticism of others for an extended period of time\u2026. Oh! Are you double-jointed at the elbows?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Hey, I know this could be called eavesdropping. But I have to tell you, I never, ever would have noticed how pale and soft you were if you weren’t talking so loudly and with so much disdain and criticism of others for an extended period of time\u2026. Oh! Are you double-jointed at the elbows?” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3620","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-Wo","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4396,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-who-is-still-talking-loudly\/","url_meta":{"origin":3620,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the man who is still talking loudly,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 27, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cEveryone in the entire dealership knows that Planet Fitness has some rules that you don\u2019t like. We hear that you think that you should be able to bring guests with your basic membership.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3909,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-man-whom-i-watched-close-his-front-door-for-an-extended-period-of-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":3620,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to a man whom I watched close his front door for an extended period of time,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI noticed you because of your bright sweat shirt. Then I saw you close your door, and then lock it. Then you pulled at your door handle. Then you jiggled it. Then you repeated the jiggling. Then you tried to turn the handle. Then you jiggled it some more. Then\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3999,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-she-watched-pick-her-nose-for-an-extended-period-of-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":3620,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the woman she watched pick her nose for an extended period of time,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI have never seen someone commit to picking her nose the way that you did. As I openly stared at you not bothering to disguise my gaze, you didn\u2019t even acknowledge my presence. I am perplexed by the science behind your nose picking. I couldn\u2019t see any of your pinky\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2581,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-self-control\/","url_meta":{"origin":3620,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to her self-control,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 22, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cBecause of you, I did not take a picture of the hairy, exposed butt crack that was in front of me for an extended period of time. I glanced down at it several times and wondered if the reddish patch on it was red because of scratching, but I didn\u2019t\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2789,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-khaki-colored-man-she-saw-walking-down-the-street\/","url_meta":{"origin":3620,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the khaki-colored man she saw walking down the street,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cExcuse me for thinking that you were walking down the street wearing a home-fashioned red and blue striped loin cloth. \u00a0I now know that it was your shirt tucked into the front of your pants. Turns out that just a few weeks ago, I saw a man walking down the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5112,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-my-period-tracking-app\/","url_meta":{"origin":3620,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to my period tracking app,","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 10, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cPlease do not ever again announce to the barista that I will soon be fertile. I don\u2019t think he needed that information as I simply tried to pay for my drink using another app\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3620","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3620"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3620\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3620"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3620"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3620"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}