“It was difficult not to look at your crotch because I wondered whether your shorts were successfully covering your lady bits. I also wondered whether those shorts hurt. But that’s none of my business….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“It was difficult not to look at your crotch because I wondered whether your shorts were successfully covering your lady bits. I also wondered whether those shorts hurt. But that’s none of my business….” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3698","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-XE","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3596,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-lady-whose-pockets-i-can-see-peeking-out-from-the-bottom-of-her-cut-off-shorts\/","url_meta":{"origin":3698,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the lady whose pockets I can see peeking out from the bottom of her cut-off shorts,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI can see your rump. And I think we are about one half centimeter away from me seeing some of your more gender specific parts.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2494,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-another-girl-wearing-microscopic-shorts\/","url_meta":{"origin":3698,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to another girl wearing microscopic shorts,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 7, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou definitely have the body for short shorts. I\u2019ll give you that. But, honey, your butt is so flat that at first I couldn\u2019t tell I was looking at a butt cheek. I thought I was looking at a wrinkle. Another inch on those shorts and your business wouldn\u2019t be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5186,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-senior-citizen-who-stared-directly-into-my-crotch-as-he-shopped-with-his-lady-at-costco\/","url_meta":{"origin":3698,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the senior citizen who stared directly into my crotch as he shopped with his lady at Costco,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWait, is the fountain of youth in my pants? Otherwise, I have no viable reason for that sort of penetrating look.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3977,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-girl-in-the-thigh-highs-who-i-think-was-also-wearing-short-shorts\/","url_meta":{"origin":3698,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the girl in the thigh highs who I think was also wearing short shorts,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 31, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI didn\u2019t actually see any shorts, so I\u2019m being presumptuous here. I, however, am not being presumptuous when I\u2019m guessing that you were cold, very cold. But, it\u2019s your thing; do what you wanna do\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2441,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-slow-walking-woman-with-the-teeny-tiny-shorts\/","url_meta":{"origin":3698,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the slow walking woman with the teeny tiny shorts,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cFull disclosure: I am in a bad mood. Now, if you are going to slowly shuffle about, don\u2019t make a point to walk in front of moving vehicles. If you\u2019re going to do this while wearing pantyshorts, please expect to be talked about. Case in point: I\u2019m pretty sure that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5058,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-in-very-short-shorts-and-fishnet-stockings\/","url_meta":{"origin":3698,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the woman in very short shorts and fishnet stockings,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIf this were a Nelly concert I would think you were thematically dressed, letting it fall out and all. 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