{"id":3917,"date":"2014-10-20T15:53:49","date_gmt":"2014-10-20T19:53:49","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/openletters\/?p=2146"},"modified":"2014-10-20T15:53:49","modified_gmt":"2014-10-20T19:53:49","slug":"in-an-open-letter-to-the-middle-aged-woman-wearing-thin-stretch-pants","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-middle-aged-woman-wearing-thin-stretch-pants\/","title":{"rendered":"In an open letter to the middle aged woman wearing thin stretch pants,"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;It took me a minute to figure out what your backside reminded me of. It seemed so familiar and I couldn&#8217;t place it until it came to me all at once. Calf liver!!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;It took me a minute to figure out what your backside reminded me of. It seemed so familiar and I couldn&#8217;t place it until it came to me all at once. Calf liver!!&#8221; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3917","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-11b","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1774,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2012\/05\/a-is-for-afghanistan\/","url_meta":{"origin":3917,"position":0},"title":"A is for Afghanistan","author":"admin","date":"May 6, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Recently, I said to my guy that I think that it would be cool to go through\u00a0list of countries and cook food from each of these countries, in alphabetical order. He did not look at me like I am from a different planet. I love that man. Anyway, it seemed\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;cooking&quot;","block_context":{"text":"cooking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/cooking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/cardamom-fudge.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4432,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-in-front-of-me-in-line-at-starbucks-who-reminded-me-of-jesse-pinkman\/","url_meta":{"origin":3917,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the man in front of me in line at Starbucks who reminded me of Jesse Pinkman,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 5, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cFirst I was surprised when you ordered a white chocolate mocha and handed over your stainless steel travel mug. But it was your request for caramel drizzle that really took it to the next level.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":113,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2009\/06\/1001-foods-rambutan\/","url_meta":{"origin":3917,"position":2},"title":"1001 foods: rambutan","author":"admin","date":"June 9, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"I like going to ZZ's Produce even though it is far out of the way. Last time I went, it was crowded. I didn't feel like sticking around until I saw them. Rambutan. So I bought a few of them and took them home. They reminded me of peeled grapes\u2026","rel":"","context":"With 1 comment","block_context":{"text":"With 1 comment","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2009\/06\/1001-foods-rambutan\/#comments"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/100_1532-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4446,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-seemed-to-be-attempting-to-poach-workers-from-qdoba\/","url_meta":{"origin":3917,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the woman who seemed to be attempting to poach workers from Qdoba,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 7, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cHad you not been holding up the line to offer the cashier an offer he couldn\u2019t refuse, I would never have noticed just how used up you looked. When you got the name and email address of the guy behind the counter, then stopped again to make sure that you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4471,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-whose-exposed-chestbreast-region-made-me-think-of-two-words-akimbo-and-splayed\/","url_meta":{"origin":3917,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the woman whose exposed chest\/breast region made me think of two words, \u201cakimbo\u201d and \u201csplayed,\u201d","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 18, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt\u2019s yo\u2019 thang. Do what you wanna do and all, but I couldn\u2019t figure out whether that whole look you had going on was purposeful. Also, I just don\u2019t understand the physics of the way your shirt sat.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3008,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-staff-person-who-seemed-to-be-on-duty-near-the-deli\/","url_meta":{"origin":3917,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the staff person who seemed to be on duty near the deli,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSo, maybe you were on a break. I don\u2019t know. But that\u2019s none of my business. The part that is my business is that you sauntered over to the other side of the counter and took a few samples\u2026with your gloves on. That\u2019s where my objection comes in. 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