“The things that I’m going to do to you… Imagine yourself the subject of an R&B song. Not one of those cleaner ones of the past, one of those vulgar ones of today. You will be devoured. I’m not going to ask first. Good thing you’re an actual object and not a person.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“The things that I’m going to do to you… Imagine yourself the subject of an R&B song. Not one of those cleaner ones of the past, one of those vulgar ones of today. You will be devoured. I’m not going to ask first. Good thing you’re an actual object and not a person.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3952","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-11K","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2711,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/cheddar-jalapeno-biscuits\/","url_meta":{"origin":3952,"position":0},"title":"Cheddar Jalapeno Biscuits","author":"admin","date":"August 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Listening to the Alton Brown podcast made me want to make biscuits. In one of the episodes, he started to talk about his grandmother's biscuits. In another episode he mentioned that he doesn't drink a lot of dairy around, but keeps it around for biscuits. He reignited the biscuit lust\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "baking"","block_context":{"text":"baking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/baking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/biscuits.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2292,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-piece-of-king-cake-that-made-me-want\/","url_meta":{"origin":3952,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to a piece of king cake that made me want,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI probably shouldn\u2019t be telling you this, but as soon as I took that bread knife in hand, I knew that my basest desires would be unleashed. I have never felt this way about a piece of food before, but you made a million Prince songs go through my head,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"cake\"","block_context":{"text":"cake","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/cake\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3045,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/curry-turkey-chili\/","url_meta":{"origin":3952,"position":2},"title":"Curry Turkey Chili","author":"admin","date":"December 20, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u00a0 I have a healthy appreciation for curry. Indian curries, Thai curries, West Indian curries...all kinds of curries. I'll even take bastardized curries. Well, those are the ones I tend to whip up. I also have a fondness for chili. I will eat all sorts of chili. 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You\u2019d know better.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "LBJ"","block_context":{"text":"LBJ","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/lbj\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2547,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-someone-who-can-imagine-being-seduced-by-lbj\/","url_meta":{"origin":3952,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to someone who can imagine being seduced by LBJ,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 14, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI know you\u2019re out there. I know that you can imagine the moment when you see that you\u2019ve caught his eye. I know you\u2019d watch as he decided whether or not to approach. He\u2019d stand too close. You would tell yourself that you\u2019re sweating because it\u2019s hot. You\u2019d know better.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2980,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-jay-z\/","url_meta":{"origin":3952,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to Jay Z,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 15, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI only ask because I think you\u2019re an expert on this topic. Is there any such thing as medium pimpin\u2019?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3952","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3952"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3952\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3952"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3952"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3952"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}