“I didn’t actually see any shorts, so I’m being presumptuous here. I, however, am not being presumptuous when I’m guessing that you were cold, very cold. But, it’s your thing; do what you wanna do….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I didn’t actually see any shorts, so I’m being presumptuous here. I, however, am not being presumptuous when I’m guessing that you were cold, very cold. But, it’s your thing; do what you wanna do….” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-3977","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-129","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":439,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2010\/03\/if-running-doesnt-make-you-a-runner-what-does\/","url_meta":{"origin":3977,"position":0},"title":"If running doesn’t make you a runner, what does?","author":"admin","date":"March 17, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Sometime after I had run the Detroit Free Press Half Marathon, I made reference to \"real runners,\" which did not include myself. One of the people with whom I was talking stopped, looked at me, and said, \"You just ran a half marathon. What do you mean real runners?\" I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"exercise\"","block_context":{"text":"exercise","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/exercise\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/base_media.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3698,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-tall-girl-wearing-very-short-shorts\/","url_meta":{"origin":3977,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the tall girl wearing very short shorts,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt was difficult not to look at your crotch because I wondered whether your shorts were successfully covering your lady bits. I also wondered whether those shorts hurt. But that\u2019s none of my business\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2494,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-another-girl-wearing-microscopic-shorts\/","url_meta":{"origin":3977,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to another girl wearing microscopic shorts,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 7, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou definitely have the body for short shorts. I\u2019ll give you that. But, honey, your butt is so flat that at first I couldn\u2019t tell I was looking at a butt cheek. I thought I was looking at a wrinkle. Another inch on those shorts and your business wouldn\u2019t be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2441,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-slow-walking-woman-with-the-teeny-tiny-shorts\/","url_meta":{"origin":3977,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the slow walking woman with the teeny tiny shorts,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cFull disclosure: I am in a bad mood. Now, if you are going to slowly shuffle about, don\u2019t make a point to walk in front of moving vehicles. If you\u2019re going to do this while wearing pantyshorts, please expect to be talked about. Case in point: I\u2019m pretty sure that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5058,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-in-very-short-shorts-and-fishnet-stockings\/","url_meta":{"origin":3977,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the woman in very short shorts and fishnet stockings,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIf this were a Nelly concert I would think you were thematically dressed, letting it fall out and all. If this were Morris Day and the Time I would think you were paying Homage.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2377,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-four-legs-i-saw-this-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":3977,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the four legs I saw this morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYoung ladies, if you are going to wear panty-length shorts before us Michiganders are accustomed to seasonal nudity, I suggest you stick to sidewalks instead of walking precariously on the edge of the road. Be safe!\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"legs\"","block_context":{"text":"legs","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/legs\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3977","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3977"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3977\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3977"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3977"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3977"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}