“You thought this was going to be a nasty one, didn’t you. Actually, your vacuuming was liberating. Now, I’ll never again feel guilty when I hit the snooze button at 5:30 in the morning. We’re on different schedules and your bedtime vacuuming has illuminated that for me. Thanks!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“You thought this was going to be a nasty one, didn’t you. Actually, your vacuuming was liberating. Now, I’ll never again feel guilty when I hit the snooze button at 5:30 in the morning. We’re on different schedules and your bedtime vacuuming has illuminated that for me. Thanks!” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-4039","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-139","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4452,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-corpulent-man-with-an-oppressive-nose\/","url_meta":{"origin":4039,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the corpulent man with an oppressive nose,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 10, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI have to admit that I enjoyed watching you being ignored as you tried to summon a cashier who was attending other customers by waving your hand weakly in her direction. 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My mama gut told me to keep my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"junk\"","block_context":{"text":"junk","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/junk\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5161,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-whomever-dropped-what-appeared-to-be-a-super-or-super-plus-tampon-in-the-parking-structure-a-few-months-ago\/","url_meta":{"origin":4039,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to whomever dropped what appeared to be a super or super-plus tampon in the parking structure a few months ago,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 23, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI still feel guilty for not saying anything. I got paralyzed. I didn\u2019t know what to say. You were at least a floor above me. I hope that you had another one, or at least that were wearing black pants, or that you have someone at your job who slipped\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2784,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-at-three-in-the-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":4039,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to herself at three in the morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWe are by no means starving. Please do not wake me up again because you say we\u2019re hungry. Can\u2019t you convert some of our excess thigh meat into energy or something?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2785,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-at-three-in-the-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":4039,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to herself at three in the morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWe are by no means starving. Please do not wake me up again because you say we\u2019re hungry. 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