{"id":4130,"date":"2014-11-19T21:39:52","date_gmt":"2014-11-20T02:39:52","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/openletters\/?p=2212"},"modified":"2014-11-19T21:39:52","modified_gmt":"2014-11-20T02:39:52","slug":"in-an-open-letter-to-the-high-school-teacher-who-once-said-toasked-of-me-you-dont-do-that-lil-kim-stuff-do-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-high-school-teacher-who-once-said-toasked-of-me-you-dont-do-that-lil-kim-stuff-do-you\/","title":{"rendered":"In an open letter to the high school teacher who once said to\/asked of me, \u201cYou don\u2019t do that Lil\u2019 Kim stuff, do you?\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Gross. I think that you were making an allusion to the rumor circulating during that time that Lil&#8217; Kim had her stomach pumped for, uh, let&#8217;s just say, big girl reasons. But, I could be wrong; I&#8217;ve never been great at putting together these sorts of things. What I do know is that your question made me sweat. A lot. As in more than usual. And during those particular years, I was a perpetual sweaty mess. Again, gross.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Gross. I think that you were making an allusion to the rumor circulating during that time that Lil&#8217; Kim had her stomach pumped for, uh, let&#8217;s just say, big girl reasons. But, I could be wrong; I&#8217;ve never been great at putting together these sorts of things. What I do know is that your question [&#8230;] <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-4130","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-14C","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2443,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-daddy-yankee-pandora-station\/","url_meta":{"origin":4130,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to her Daddy Yankee Pandora station,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI regret to inform you that I can no longer listen to you at work. You see, there is something about this music that makes my hips move involuntarily. This is inappropriate at best and probably most likely creepy\/downright gross. Additionally, this music both makes me mouth lyrics (not a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4303,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-busty-woman-considering-taking-the-trash-out-to-the-dumpster-without-putting-on-a-bra-first\/","url_meta":{"origin":4130,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to a busty woman considering taking the trash out to the dumpster without putting on a bra first,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 18, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cJust put on the bra. Otherwise you will wonder whether your neighbors see you. You will also wonder if the movement of your unfettered breasts reminds them of a waterbed. Or just put on a heavy coat. I mean, uh, this is what my imagination says\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2723,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-wrong-and-uncouth-mind\/","url_meta":{"origin":4130,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to her wrong and uncouth mind,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 6, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWhy do you do this to me, fill me up with thoughts that are too strange to ever utter aloud? Why do you get started so early? At least this morning I was in the shower where I could metaphorically cleanse myself while I actually cleansed myself. Give a gal\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4271,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/harlem-new-york-1935\/","url_meta":{"origin":4130,"position":3},"title":"Harlem, New York (1935)","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 3, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Age of Lino Rivera, the black Puerto Rican young man at the center of this event. On March 19, 1935, Mr. Rivera shoplifted a pen knife from a five and dime store. He was chased and caught\u00a0by store employees. Rivera didn\u2019t take being caught calmly. He severely bit the hands\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Mathematics of a Race Riot&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Mathematics of a Race Riot","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/mathematics-of-a-race-riot\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"16","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riotnumbers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/01\/16.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3015,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-sister-in-law\/","url_meta":{"origin":4130,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to her sister-in-law,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 29, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cNow that you work in a hospital, I can\u2019t stop asking all sorts of uncouth questions about the body once things have gone wrong. I find it quite satisfying in a disgusting sort of way. However, those stories about the various and sundry items people insert in various bodily nooks\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5105,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/07\/the-dating-project-a-beginning-and-some-ground-rules\/","url_meta":{"origin":4130,"position":5},"title":"The Dating Project: A Beginning and Some Ground Rules","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 10, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Dudes. Dating is weird. It's like interviewing people for a super personal job.\u00a0 Sort of. Writing about it in a place where anyone could look at it is also weird. But, alas, writing is how I think, and I've decided that I want to document my experiences. Now, first things\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;The Dating Project&quot;","block_context":{"text":"The Dating Project","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/the-dating-project\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/07\/one-eye-open.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4130","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4130"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4130\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4130"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4130"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4130"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}