“I blame my crankiness on being sick, but I have to wonder if there is a school, or at least a non-credit workshop, for what you did. You see, for a woman so dang small, you managed to take up a lot of space. Is this to make up for your tinyness? Does it make you feel strong? Or do you just like inconveniencing other people? You had that look about you. Or maybe it just takes you that long to put on your gloves, and you are entirely unaware that the world doesn’t exist solely for your purposes.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I blame my crankiness on being sick, but I have to wonder if there is a school, or at least a non-credit workshop, for what you did. You see, for a woman so dang small, you managed to take up a lot of space. Is this to make up for your tinyness? Does it make […] <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-4257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-16F","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4303,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-busty-woman-considering-taking-the-trash-out-to-the-dumpster-without-putting-on-a-bra-first\/","url_meta":{"origin":4257,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to a busty woman considering taking the trash out to the dumpster without putting on a bra first,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 18, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cJust put on the bra. Otherwise you will wonder whether your neighbors see you. You will also wonder if the movement of your unfettered breasts reminds them of a waterbed. Or just put on a heavy coat. I mean, uh, this is what my imagination says\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5066,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-walking-across-campus-with-a-confident-strut-and-the-comfortable-looking-pants\/","url_meta":{"origin":4257,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the woman walking across campus with a confident strut and the comfortable looking pants,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 24, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cBravo. You look like you know how to live. Those pants looked so comfortable, yet stylish. I wonder if that\u2019s the secret to the bright bounce in your step. Your panties, however, did not look so comfortable. I wonder if that\u2019s the secret to the bright bounce in your step.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4183,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-complained-about-her-husband-twice-while-she-was-working-and-i-was-a-customer-in-her-store\/","url_meta":{"origin":4257,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the woman who complained about her husband twice while she was working and I was a customer in her store,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI wonder if you would have cut my fabric faster if you weren\u2019t so determined to make your husband sound like an animal. I also wonder if you would be at home cutting your husband if you weren\u2019t at work complaining about him. So I smiled an nodded\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4392,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-wearing-very-thin-very-tight-khakis-this-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":4257,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the woman wearing very thin, very tight khakis this morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cOne glance and my mind went crazy. It looked like your underwear was pressing equally hard into your flesh as it was into the thin pants you wore. But it is the thought of the sweet, sweet relief that you must feel when you take those things off that captivated\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3340,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-at-the-gym-with-the-very-interestingly-shaped-butt\/","url_meta":{"origin":4257,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the woman at the gym with the very interestingly shaped butt,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cMa\u2019am, I would never have noticed the shape\/s of your rump had you not used the toilet, then proceeded toward the pool without washing your hands. At least you flushed.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4198,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-was-getting-too-close-to-me-at-meijers\/","url_meta":{"origin":4257,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the woman who was getting too close to me at Meijer\u2019s,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 20, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou made my whole back side feel jumpy and uncomfortable as if you were back there staging an attack. If you hadn\u2019t been so impatient and wanting to stand in the space where I was already standing, I wouldn\u2019t have spent the few minutes to figure out how best to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4257"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4257\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}