{"id":4290,"date":"2015-01-10T08:15:00","date_gmt":"2015-01-10T13:15:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/openletters\/?p=2264"},"modified":"2015-01-10T08:15:00","modified_gmt":"2015-01-10T13:15:00","slug":"in-an-open-letter-to-the-squat-woman-with-bed-hair-a-questionable-dye-job-and-enough-volume-for-everyone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-squat-woman-with-bed-hair-a-questionable-dye-job-and-enough-volume-for-everyone\/","title":{"rendered":"In an open letter to the squat woman with bed hair, a questionable dye job and enough volume for everyone,"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;You made me exceedingly grateful that, today, I am on this side of a service desk.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;You made me exceedingly grateful that, today, I am on this side of a service desk.&#8221; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-4290","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-17c","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3014,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-contact-lenses\/","url_meta":{"origin":4290,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to her contact lenses,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 27, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI used to be grateful to you\u00a0 for purposes of vanity. 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