“I’ll keep this short. Hair mask.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I’ll keep this short. Hair mask.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[327,1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-4291","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hair","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-17d","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5327,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2019\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-white-haired-gentleman-in-the-toyota-camry\/","url_meta":{"origin":4291,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the white haired gentleman in the Toyota Camry,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 21, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWhat an impressive head of hair. I mean, the rest of us are supposed to keep an eye on the road\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3386,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-have-me-a-card-for-a-hair-extensions-business\/","url_meta":{"origin":4291,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the woman who have me a card for a hair extensions business,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cNumber 1: how much hair do you think I need? Number 2: I had JUST noticed that the edge hair around here was looking rather skimpy\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2736,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-with-a-really-good-haircut\/","url_meta":{"origin":4291,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the man with a really good haircut,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 8, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201c\u2026.Keep on doing what you\u2019re doing. Your haircut was captivating, danger. I saw it when I was waiting to cross the street. My eyes didn\u2019t make it past your hair. Your salt and pepper was perfectly seasoned. I stared as you passed until I saw the walk sign. I thought\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2548,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-maury-povich\/","url_meta":{"origin":4291,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to Maury Povich,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 15, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cMaury, it has to be said, you are looking pretty good for a man your age. Seriously, for someone born during World War II, you are in good shape, you have a lot of hair, and you seem to have a fair amount of vigor. Maybe there\u2019s something about being\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3299,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-rod-stewart\/","url_meta":{"origin":4291,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to Rod Stewart,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThough, finding myself on the wrong side of this behavior too many times, I am opposed to one stranger reaching out to touch the hair of another without permission. That said, if I ever find myself in close proximity to you, I am going to try to touch your hair.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2426,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-on-a-questionable-hair-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":4291,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to herself on a questionable hair day,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cLady, next time you squeeze a more-than-quarter-sized dollop of hair gel into your hand, \u00a0just scrape some of it into the sink. This is especially true if you don\u2019t even know when you last relaxed your hair. Otherwise, you will catch a glimpse of yourself in your car window and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4291","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4291"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4291\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4291"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4291"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4291"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}