“I really like all of the hair that grows out of your face, especially your mustache. Your eyebrows, too, are rather appealing. It makes me want to take an Oreo cookie, twist it open and greedily eat the cream. Then I want to take the two wafers and rub them together until they form a petite mountain of crumbs and then \u00a0I want to tip the crumbs into my mouth.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I really like all of the hair that grows out of your face, especially your mustache. Your eyebrows, too, are rather appealing. It makes me want to take an Oreo cookie, twist it open and greedily eat the cream. Then I want to take the two wafers and rub them together until they form a […] <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[327,1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-4294","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-hair","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-17g","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3076,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/the-kind-of-gal-who-likes-to-click-around\/","url_meta":{"origin":4294,"position":0},"title":"The kind of gal who likes to click around","author":"admin","date":"December 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I love cranberry sauce. It takes a lot of self control not to grab a bag of cranberries each and eery time I see them at the store. I want to excuse myself because they're seasonal, fresh cranberries are. Now, though, I might have a better excuse, these\u00a0Cranberry Orange Pop\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "links!"","block_context":{"text":"links!","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/links\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/12\/linklove.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3386,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-have-me-a-card-for-a-hair-extensions-business\/","url_meta":{"origin":4294,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the woman who have me a card for a hair extensions business,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cNumber 1: how much hair do you think I need? Number 2: I had JUST noticed that the edge hair around here was looking rather skimpy\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5230,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2018\/01\/cabinet-cream-pie-rex-tillerson\/","url_meta":{"origin":4294,"position":2},"title":"Cabinet Cream Pie: Rex Tillerson","author":"admin","date":"January 3, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"I have a weak spot for a Texas accent.\u00a0 And in the midst of a controversial presidency, I feel like I shouldn\u2019t admit that I like to listen to Secretary of State Rex Tillerson speak because of the way that Texas sound drips from his tongue. Hmmm\u2026.this is taking a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "baking"","block_context":{"text":"baking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/baking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/tillersoncreampie.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/tillersoncreampie.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/tillersoncreampie.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/headofstatecakes.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/tillersoncreampie.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2736,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-with-a-really-good-haircut\/","url_meta":{"origin":4294,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the man with a really good haircut,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 8, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201c\u2026.Keep on doing what you\u2019re doing. Your haircut was captivating, danger. I saw it when I was waiting to cross the street. My eyes didn\u2019t make it past your hair. Your salt and pepper was perfectly seasoned. I stared as you passed until I saw the walk sign. I thought\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2426,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-on-a-questionable-hair-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":4294,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to herself on a questionable hair day,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cLady, next time you squeeze a more-than-quarter-sized dollop of hair gel into your hand, \u00a0just scrape some of it into the sink. This is especially true if you don\u2019t even know when you last relaxed your hair. Otherwise, you will catch a glimpse of yourself in your car window and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2295,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-those-who-have-expressed-an-interest-in-knowing-what-really-happens-in-my-head\/","url_meta":{"origin":4294,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to those who have expressed an interest in knowing what really happens in my head,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 10, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThis is the short film that I would like to see. Bill Clinton walks into an all white room and sits at a white folding table on a white folding chair. He is wearing blue, dark blue slacks and a lighter blue shirt. 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