“It’s a good thing that I took a look at the sweater I grabbed as I walked out the door before I put it on. At work. In front of someone. Please don’t ever hitch a ride via static cling again.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“It’s a good thing that I took a look at the sweater I grabbed as I walked out the door before I put it on. At work. In front of someone. Please don’t ever hitch a ride via static cling again.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-4307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-17t","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5137,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-police-officer-who-pulled-up-beside-me-as-i-walked-home-in-the-dark-and-asked-me-if-i-needed-a-ride\/","url_meta":{"origin":4307,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the police officer who pulled up beside me as I walked home in the dark and asked me if I needed a ride,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 9, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cOfficer, you scared the bejeezus out of me! Also, is that standard protocol?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3412,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-wearing-the-short-sleeved-sweater\/","url_meta":{"origin":4307,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the woman wearing the short-sleeved sweater,","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 7, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt was probably about 6 weeks ago when I saw you. I don\u2019t know whether I was hypnotized, mesmerized, or generally confused. Short sleeved sweaters always confuse me. Yours threw in an additional twist because of the mohair-like texture. When I took a closer look, I saw that your sweater\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4291,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-blonde-woman-in-leather-pants-whose-hair-was-the-same-color-as-her-ivory-sweater\/","url_meta":{"origin":4307,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the blonde woman in leather pants whose hair was the same color as her ivory sweater,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 12, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI\u2019ll keep this short. Hair mask.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5138,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-old-enough-to-be-my-father-who-grabbed-my-rump-during-a-public-event-celebrating-the-eclipse\/","url_meta":{"origin":4307,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the man old enough to be my father who grabbed my rump during a public event celebrating the eclipse,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 22, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI wish I would have \u2018accidentally\u2019 stepped on your foot. Hard. Also, is there no stolen touches etiquette? A more polite way to violate a stranger? Couldn\u2019t you have done with a knuckle graze rather than an actual deliberate squeeze? Also, couldn\u2019t you grab and go rather than stay nearby.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4375,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/fast-and-loose-cherry-crisp\/","url_meta":{"origin":4307,"position":4},"title":"Fast and Loose: Cherry Crisp","author":"admin","date":"February 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"One thing that might happen to you if you ever decide to embark upon a thematic baking project\u00a0is that you might acquire quite the collection of baking odds and ends. In my case, it means that there is a weird amount of frozen fruit in my freezer. Last year I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "baking"","block_context":{"text":"baking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/baking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/02\/cherrycrisp3.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5003,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-gentleman-who-diagnosed-the-problem-with-my-washing-machine\/","url_meta":{"origin":4307,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the gentleman who diagnosed the problem with my washing machine,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 14, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cHi! I\u2019m glad that you were able to tell me what the problem is. Thanks for that. I guess that I also appreciate your admiration of my president Pez dispensers. I was less of a fan of the way that you walked around them so that you could fully take\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4307"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4307\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}