“You know, I think I need my Barry White limited. Barry White unlimited, was just too much for me.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“You know, I think I need my Barry White limited. Barry White unlimited, was just too much for me.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-4359","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-18j","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2538,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-bald-head-of-cabbage-that-lies-in-wait-in-the-fridge\/","url_meta":{"origin":4359,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the bald head of cabbage that lies in wait in the fridge,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThe things I will do to you. You will feel like the star of a Barry White song. There will be creaminess and cheese, which is even better\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2981,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-who-caught-me-staring-at-him-this-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":4359,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the man who caught me staring at him this morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt was your moustache. It was so dark and rich. It reminded me of Barry White\u2019s voice. It didn\u2019t match your hair. I had questions. Those questions were what I was considering when you caught me in the act\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"Barry White\"","block_context":{"text":"Barry White","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/barry-white\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4200,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-beers-sitting-nearby\/","url_meta":{"origin":4359,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the beers sitting nearby,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 22, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI am this close to singing Barry White songs to you. You see, my next work day is Friday which means it\u2019s on. I gonna love you, love you, love you\u2026..\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "beer"","block_context":{"text":"beer","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/beer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":75,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2009\/02\/sunday-is-for-resting-dough\/","url_meta":{"origin":4359,"position":3},"title":"Sunday is for resting dough","author":"admin","date":"February 23, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"I have this crazy fantasy of being all Ma Ingalls and making all of the food that my family needs and sewing clothes and just being that ultimate mother figure that Karen Grassle evoked as she played Caroline. I am sure that Michael Landon figures in there somewhere in this\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "alex"","block_context":{"text":"alex","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/family\/alex\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Sherlonya kneading bread dough","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/100_1022-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":5327,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2019\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-white-haired-gentleman-in-the-toyota-camry\/","url_meta":{"origin":4359,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the white haired gentleman in the Toyota Camry,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 21, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWhat an impressive head of hair. I mean, the rest of us are supposed to keep an eye on the road\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2295,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-those-who-have-expressed-an-interest-in-knowing-what-really-happens-in-my-head\/","url_meta":{"origin":4359,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to those who have expressed an interest in knowing what really happens in my head,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 10, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThis is the short film that I would like to see. Bill Clinton walks into an all white room and sits at a white folding table on a white folding chair. He is wearing blue, dark blue slacks and a lighter blue shirt. 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