“Even though I understand in my heart that your lyrics weren’t meant to be pondered thoroughly, I so often feel confused if I think about your words at all.’ <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Even though I understand in my heart that your lyrics weren’t meant to be pondered thoroughly, I so often feel confused if I think about your words at all.’ <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-4425","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-19n","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5059,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-friendly-man-who-sat-next-to-me-at-the-hall-and-oates-concert\/","url_meta":{"origin":4425,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the friendly man who sat next to me at the Hall and Oates concert,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI suspect that the reason you started talking to me is because you felt bad that I was there by myself. It was a little weird how you kept leaning over though putting your upper side in contact with mine to tell me how much your wife was into the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2443,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-daddy-yankee-pandora-station\/","url_meta":{"origin":4425,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to her Daddy Yankee Pandora station,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI regret to inform you that I can no longer listen to you at work. You see, there is something about this music that makes my hips move involuntarily. This is inappropriate at best and probably most likely creepy\/downright gross. Additionally, this music both makes me mouth lyrics (not a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5073,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-saxophonist-from-the-hall-and-oates-concert\/","url_meta":{"origin":4425,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the saxophonist from the Hall and Oates concert,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou reminded me of both Bill Clinton and Dumbledore. This left me erotically confused.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4471,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-whose-exposed-chestbreast-region-made-me-think-of-two-words-akimbo-and-splayed\/","url_meta":{"origin":4425,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the woman whose exposed chest\/breast region made me think of two words, \u201cakimbo\u201d and \u201csplayed,\u201d","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 18, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt\u2019s yo\u2019 thang. Do what you wanna do and all, but I couldn\u2019t figure out whether that whole look you had going on was purposeful. Also, I just don\u2019t understand the physics of the way your shirt sat.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4183,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-complained-about-her-husband-twice-while-she-was-working-and-i-was-a-customer-in-her-store\/","url_meta":{"origin":4425,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the woman who complained about her husband twice while she was working and I was a customer in her store,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI wonder if you would have cut my fabric faster if you weren\u2019t so determined to make your husband sound like an animal. I also wonder if you would be at home cutting your husband if you weren\u2019t at work complaining about him. So I smiled an nodded\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2624,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-in-stretchy-pants\/","url_meta":{"origin":4425,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the woman in stretchy pants,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 15, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI simply did not understand the physics of your pants. They didn\u2019t appear to be shifting around. In fact, they seemed rather snug. The exception, though, was the crotch baggies. I just don\u2019t understand how your pants could be so tight, yet so loose. 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