“I wish that there were a corollary to ‘Shimmy Shimmy Ya,’\u00a0I wish that the chorus in this imaginary song rang out, ‘Ooh, baby I like it poached….’”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I wish that there were a corollary to ‘Shimmy Shimmy Ya,’\u00a0I wish that the chorus in this imaginary song rang out, ‘Ooh, baby I like it poached….’” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-4466","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1a2","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2535,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-men-who-wear-pants-that-uh-accentuate-their-silhouettes\/","url_meta":{"origin":4466,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to men who wear pants that, uh, accentuate their silhouettes,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI am no junk-gazer, but some of you are wearing pants these days that make it hard to concentrate. Not in an ooh-and ah way, for the record. No, this is more in a \u2018Wait. Was that? I think that was\u2026what is going on here? kind of way.\u2019 It is\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4635,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-cashier-at-target\/","url_meta":{"origin":4466,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the cashier at Target,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 7, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cA couple of days later, I wish I would have just told you that I have some irritated skin on my neck. Instead, I keep wondering what you thought when I bought two different ointments and nothing else.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5449,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2021\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-old-people-who-aggressively-cut-me-off-in-the-parking-lot\/","url_meta":{"origin":4466,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the old people who aggressively cut me off in the parking lot,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 3, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI\u2019m not going to wish you a serious health problem\u2026just a few days of diarrhea which leaves your tissue-like butt skin raw for a few days.\u201d\ufeff","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5131,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-adult-who-asked-my-son-about-my-relationship-status\/","url_meta":{"origin":4466,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the adult who asked my son about my relationship status,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cNope. Not acceptable at all. I wish I had seeded him with an inappropriate canned answer. You know, something you\u2019d remember for the rest of your live. Maybe something involving aliens. Aliens and worms.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5100,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-i-danced-with-a-couple-ago-fresh-out-of-a-6-year-relationship\/","url_meta":{"origin":4466,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the man I danced with a couple ago fresh out of a 6 year relationship,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 27, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI really wish I would have asked you to repeat yourself when you said whatever you said about knowing how to dance with black girls. Not knowing what you said haunts me a little. I also regret that your hands handled my waist.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2650,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-john-and-abigail-adams\/","url_meta":{"origin":4466,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to John and Abigail Adams,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThank you for leaving us the spicy hot love letters that you exchanged. I believe I recall one of you saying to the other something about being attracted to each other like magnet to metal. Oh, how I wish I had penned that line. Oh how I enjoy knowing about\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4466","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4466"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4466\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4466"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4466"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4466"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}