“I know that I am responsible for my own actions, but it was the guy in the Qdoba who was hunched over his food with great commitment that made me contort myself. His daring curvature made me wonder if my body was capable of that range of vertebrate motion. Alas, it is not….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I know that I am responsible for my own actions, but it was the guy in the Qdoba who was hunched over his food with great commitment that made me contort myself. His daring curvature made me wonder if my body was capable of that range of vertebrate motion. Alas, it is not….” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-4506","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1aG","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4446,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-seemed-to-be-attempting-to-poach-workers-from-qdoba\/","url_meta":{"origin":4506,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the woman who seemed to be attempting to poach workers from Qdoba,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 7, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cHad you not been holding up the line to offer the cashier an offer he couldn\u2019t refuse, I would never have noticed just how used up you looked. When you got the name and email address of the guy behind the counter, then stopped again to make sure that you\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2369,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-son-4\/","url_meta":{"origin":4506,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to her son,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 22, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSweetie, I figured out what you remind me of when you\u2019re dancing. A chicken. You tuck your hands in, and then begin to flap. Then you start this pecking motion with your head. Now what you\u2019re doing with the rest of your body, I don\u2019t have that part figured out\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "parenthood"","block_context":{"text":"parenthood","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/parenthood\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5126,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-my-dear-friend-who-is-in-a-bad-mood\/","url_meta":{"origin":4506,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to my dear friend who is in a bad mood,","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 22, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cPlease know that if I could take your bad mood and babysit until it decided to act right again, that I would happily do that for you. But, alas, I can\u2019t. Instead, I hope that the idea of a bad mood being like a naughty puppy cheers you up just\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":99,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2009\/06\/kitchen-adventures\/","url_meta":{"origin":4506,"position":3},"title":"Kitchen Adventures","author":"admin","date":"June 7, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"I almost wrote \"kitten adventures\" for the title of this post. Entirely different connotation, far creepier. But, alas, I wrote kitchen adventures. Recently, I purchased a book called 1001 Foods You Must Taste Before You Die. I had been lovingly thumbing through the book every time I went to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "cooking"","block_context":{"text":"cooking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/cooking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/1001foods.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2649,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-a-open-letter-to-a-hard-loved-pair-of-jeans\/","url_meta":{"origin":4506,"position":4},"title":"In a open letter to a hard-loved pair of jeans,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWe\u2019ve had some good times together. You, sweet jeans, have given me the kind generosity a girl like me needs in the thigh region. Alas, the thighs have taken their toll, and you are now sporting a hole in the upper inner thigh region. 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