“Here? With all these people nearby? With all these contaminated surfaces?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Here? With all these people nearby? With all these contaminated surfaces?” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-4662","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1dc","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5272,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2018\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-nearby-oversharer\/","url_meta":{"origin":4662,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the nearby oversharer,","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 6, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI\u2019m having a hard time reconciling the tightness of your ponytail with the looseness of your lips.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2977,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-police-officer-that-almost-caused-me-to-run-up-on-a-nearby-curb\/","url_meta":{"origin":4662,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the police officer that almost caused me to run up on a nearby curb,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI don\u2019t get to say this often, but you were working those polyester pants.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4200,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-beers-sitting-nearby\/","url_meta":{"origin":4662,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the beers sitting nearby,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 22, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI am this close to singing Barry White songs to you. You see, my next work day is Friday which means it\u2019s on. I gonna love you, love you, love you\u2026..\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "beer"","block_context":{"text":"beer","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/beer\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2969,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-who-wore-shorts-if-im-being-generous-underwear-if-im-being-true-to-my-heart\/","url_meta":{"origin":4662,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the man who wore shorts if I\u2019m being generous, underwear if I\u2019m being true to my heart,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI have been working on being judgy. It\u2019s a nasty habit of mine. When I saw you though, all sorts of alarms went off in my head. Especially after I saw you both in the Halloween store and in the craft store. My mama gut told me to keep my\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"junk\"","block_context":{"text":"junk","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/junk\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4469,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-inspired-to-dance-at-the-urinal\/","url_meta":{"origin":4662,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the man inspired to dance at the urinal,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 16, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSo, my interpretation of events is that you didn\u2019t know that there was an eleven-year-old in a nearby stall who could see you. He described in great detail your dancing and singing while peeing. Apparently you were really getting into it. The thing, though, that made him tell the story\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5138,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-old-enough-to-be-my-father-who-grabbed-my-rump-during-a-public-event-celebrating-the-eclipse\/","url_meta":{"origin":4662,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the man old enough to be my father who grabbed my rump during a public event celebrating the eclipse,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 22, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI wish I would have \u2018accidentally\u2019 stepped on your foot. Hard. Also, is there no stolen touches etiquette? A more polite way to violate a stranger? Couldn\u2019t you have done with a knuckle graze rather than an actual deliberate squeeze? Also, couldn\u2019t you grab and go rather than stay nearby.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4662","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4662"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4662\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4662"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4662"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4662"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}