{"id":4778,"date":"2016-06-23T08:00:47","date_gmt":"2016-06-23T12:00:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/?p=4778"},"modified":"2016-06-21T20:23:06","modified_gmt":"2016-06-22T00:23:06","slug":"traffic-1","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/06\/traffic-1\/","title":{"rendered":"Traffic #1"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"serialnovel\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Megan sat in her unreliable Plymouth Reliant in 85 degree, remind-you-of-a-moist-mouth, Michigan summer heat. <\/span>Why is the universe mad at me this time? <\/span><\/i> She looked around, realizing that she was being dramatic again; to be stuck in traffic is to be stuck with the equally unlucky.  <\/span>Revision: only someone who is cursed could get stuck in traffic on a day like this in this car.<\/span><\/i> Clarification always did something for her. Made the world more\u2026she didn\u2019t know what. She also didn\u2019t know why she kept having all of those weird dreams about Salman Rushdie.  He\u2019d appear out of nowhere, as she did the normal and not so normal things of her dreams. Salman was always above her and looking down at her, looking like he had something to say to her, to impart upon her. Then he looked directly at her with those severe, strigine eyes and disappeared, as if deciding that she is not ready to become wise. She didn\u2019t know what it meant that Salman Rushdie was the first person she thought of in the middle of the traffic jam. Must have something to do with the heat. <\/span>Is this touch of life in Bombay? Mumbai?<\/span><\/i> She had heard that it was crowded there, cramped. <\/span>We\u2019re lucky he\u2019s even alive after that whole fatwa thing. Lucky no one killed him, Raid-style, exterminated him. <\/span><\/i> That still didn\u2019t answer her question.  <\/span>Why think of Salman in a time like this?  W.W.S.D.? <\/span><\/i>Maybe she just liked his name. <\/span>Salman. Rushdie. Maybe it was the Rushdie part. Traffic jam-no rushing here. Rush. Limbaugh.<\/span><\/i> At that, she knew he was bored. She had nothing to read in the car, all idle hands. <\/span>That\u2019s how people get themselves in trouble<\/span><\/i>. What was a girl to do? And she was so hot. Her entire back was laminated with sweat. She reminded herself of a construction worker or a plumber or someone else who works with his hands under less than optimal conditions. She wondered if she should have been one of them. She fantasized that the plumber pants thing might work for her, if, of course, she could remember to wear cute underwear. <\/span>Rosie the Riveter<\/span><\/i>, she scolded herself, <\/span>never thought of coordinating underthings. She probably went without.  Anything to help the cause.<\/span><\/i> She wondered just what Rosie looked like in her skivvies, what she drank after a long day at the plant, what a palm full of Rosie\u2019s cheeks might feel like. Riveted, she wondered what was wrong with her\u2014not Rosie, Megan.<\/span><\/p>\n

 <\/strong><\/strong>I wanna take my clothes off,<\/span><\/i> she thought.  <\/span>I\u2019m gonna take my clothes off.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n

So she did.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Megan sat in her unreliable Plymouth Reliant in 85 degree, remind-you-of-a-moist-mouth, Michigan summer heat. Why is the universe mad at me this time?  She looked around, realizing that she was being dramatic again; to be stuck in traffic is to be stuck with the equally unlucky.  Revision: only someone who is cursed could get stuck… Continue reading Traffic #1<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Traffic #1 http:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1f4\r\nA #novel I wrote a few years ago. Piece-by-piece. Part 1.","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[742],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4778","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-traffic","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1f4","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4806,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/06\/traffic-3\/","url_meta":{"origin":4778,"position":0},"title":"Traffic #3","author":"admin","date":"June 27, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cShonda, look!\u201d James exclaimed. Shonda\u00a0was looking.\u00a0 Looking right out the window. She was looking as far as she could see. If she could have, she would have looked her way right out of that car, right out of her marriage, right out of her life. Not life itself, let there\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Traffic"","block_context":{"text":"Traffic","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/writing\/traffic\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4818,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/01\/traffic-4\/","url_meta":{"origin":4778,"position":1},"title":"Traffic #4","author":"admin","date":"January 5, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Megan. She gets worked up over everything. It\u2019s not like I called her a high school English\u00a0teacher. Uptight. That\u2019s what she is. Thank God I didn\u2019t call her that. And now I have to go buy her something. When we met she was\u00a0different, but she changed. They always go and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Traffic"","block_context":{"text":"Traffic","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/writing\/traffic\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/serialnovel.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":4786,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/06\/traffic-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":4778,"position":2},"title":"Traffic #2","author":"admin","date":"June 24, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Megan noticed, as all women learn to at one point or another, that it was taking all of the effort that he had to keep his eyes aimed at hers. Upon reaching his car, she had realized her power, his vulnerability. And who said she wasn\u2019t spontaneous? Gary had said\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Traffic"","block_context":{"text":"Traffic","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/writing\/traffic\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"serialnovel","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/06\/serialnovel.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3999,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-she-watched-pick-her-nose-for-an-extended-period-of-time\/","url_meta":{"origin":4778,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the woman she watched pick her nose for an extended period of time,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI have never seen someone commit to picking her nose the way that you did. As I openly stared at you not bothering to disguise my gaze, you didn\u2019t even acknowledge my presence. I am perplexed by the science behind your nose picking. I couldn\u2019t see any of your pinky\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3013,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-drivers-involved-in-the-collision-witnessed-this-evening\/","url_meta":{"origin":4778,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the drivers involved in the collision witnessed this evening,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 26, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI\u2019m already a skittish driver; that didn\u2019t help. Uh, what I mean is that I hope everyone\u2019s okay; I\u2019m glad there wasn\u2019t a fire; and I \u00a0hope that both of you are all paid up on your auto insurance. I saw that one coming. Both of you were driving too\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"driving\"","block_context":{"text":"driving","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/driving\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3593,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-cat-caller-who-tried-to-shame-me-this-afternoon\/","url_meta":{"origin":4778,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the cat caller who tried to shame me this afternoon,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 21, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cContrary to the many things you said toward me as I refused to respond to your yelling, I don\u2019t think that I\u2019m better than other people. I simply don\u2019t respond to cat calls. It\u2019s a personal rule. It doesn\u2019t have anything to do with me being \u2018stuck up.\u2019 Also, while\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4778","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4778"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4778\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":4799,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4778\/revisions\/4799"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4778"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4778"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4778"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}