“Thanks to you, I can remember the open letters that come to me when I am out in the world gawking at innocent people who are out there just trying to live.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Thanks to you, I can remember the open letters that come to me when I am out in the world gawking at innocent people who are out there just trying to live.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-4932","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1hy","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2624,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-in-stretchy-pants\/","url_meta":{"origin":4932,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the woman in stretchy pants,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 15, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI simply did not understand the physics of your pants. They didn\u2019t appear to be shifting around. In fact, they seemed rather snug. The exception, though, was the crotch baggies. I just don\u2019t understand how your pants could be so tight, yet so loose. Is there a class on this\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3293,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-innocent-man-standing-in-front-of-me-in-line\/","url_meta":{"origin":4932,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the innocent man standing in front of me in line,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 15, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI hate it when people stand too close to me in line, but for some reason I am stricken by the desire to be predator, not prey. I want to stand so close that your hind quarters feel unprotected and vulnerable. But I won\u2019t, because that\u2019s creepy\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"impulse control\"","block_context":{"text":"impulse control","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/impulse-control\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2422,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-tanned-shirtless-silver-fox-i-saw-on-my-lunch-break\/","url_meta":{"origin":4932,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the tanned, shirtless silver fox I saw on my lunch break,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 1, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSir, I have said this before, but I need to say it again; I am not used to this seasonal nudity. You, sir, almost caused me to walk right out into traffic with all your shirtlessness, and that tan, and those abs. You may just be a danger to innocent\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3980,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-sons-nether-regions\/","url_meta":{"origin":4932,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to her son\u2019s nether regions,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 2, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI need you to know that it\u2019s not my fault that he jams everybody down there into too-small undies. I have bought him about 10 pairs that should accommodate the entire gang. Please remember this in the next couple of years and go easy on my furniture. Thanks!\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "parenthood"","block_context":{"text":"parenthood","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/parenthood\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5131,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-adult-who-asked-my-son-about-my-relationship-status\/","url_meta":{"origin":4932,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the adult who asked my son about my relationship status,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 1, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cNope. Not acceptable at all. I wish I had seeded him with an inappropriate canned answer. You know, something you\u2019d remember for the rest of your live. Maybe something involving aliens. Aliens and worms.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4854,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-george-wallace\/","url_meta":{"origin":4932,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to George Wallace,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 24, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cRecent events have piqued my interest in your story. Please do not interpret this as an opportunity to haunt my dreams. Thanks in advance!\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4932","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4932"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4932\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4932"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4932"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4932"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}