“Hi! I’m glad that you were able to tell me what the problem is. Thanks for that. I guess that I also appreciate your admiration of my president Pez dispensers. I was less of a fan of the way that you walked around them so that you could fully take them in. I didn’t mind your comments on how cool you thought my son’s Rubik’s cubes are. While I thought it was strange that you pulled a chair from the table and sat down while you gave me the receipt for my downpayment for the upcoming scheduled repair, I didn’t quite mind it. My eyebrow raised a bit when you said that I couldn’t possibly do THAT much baking and cooking as you eyed my cookbooks. It’s when you continued that line of small talk and commented that I don’t weigh 350 pounds, informing me that ‘the best cooks always do’ that I put you firmly in the taking liberties category.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Hi! I’m glad that you were able to tell me what the problem is. Thanks for that. I guess that I also appreciate your admiration of my president Pez dispensers. I was less of a fan of the way that you walked around them so that you could fully take them in. I didn’t mind […] <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5003","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1iH","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3474,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-autocorrect-on-my-phone\/","url_meta":{"origin":5003,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the autocorrect on my phone,","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 25, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cNever mind that I was trying to type the word \u2018negress;\u2019 you know I\u2019m into history. It\u2019s what you thought I meant that surprised me a bit.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3315,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-computer-that-turns-on-inconsistently\/","url_meta":{"origin":5003,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the computer that turns on inconsistently,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI thought you ate my novel. I\u2019m glad that you didn\u2019t eat my novel. Thanks for the chance to back it up!\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "writing"","block_context":{"text":"writing","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4110,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-airport-personnel-manning-the-body-scanner\/","url_meta":{"origin":5003,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the airport personnel manning the body scanner,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou looked surprised when I didn\u2019t keep walking, encouraging me with a bewildered, \u2018Come on, baby.\u2019 But, since you were touching me, I thought you were telling me I needed to stop\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4039,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-neighbor-vacuuming-near-my-bedtime\/","url_meta":{"origin":5003,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to a neighbor vacuuming near my bedtime,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou thought this was going to be a nasty one, didn\u2019t you. Actually, your vacuuming was liberating. Now, I\u2019ll never again feel guilty when I hit the snooze button at 5:30 in the morning. We\u2019re on different schedules and your bedtime vacuuming has illuminated that for me. Thanks!\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2245,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/02\/president-biographies-project-done\/","url_meta":{"origin":5003,"position":4},"title":"President Biographies Project = Done.","author":"admin","date":"February 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Well, it's done. I have read (at least) a biography of each United States president. I feel just how I felt after I crossed the finish line of the marathon I completed. Well, not exactly, reading doesn't make you so sore you have to wonder how you're going to step\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/IMG_3374.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/IMG_3374.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/02\/IMG_3374.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":4392,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-wearing-very-thin-very-tight-khakis-this-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":5003,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the woman wearing very thin, very tight khakis this morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cOne glance and my mind went crazy. It looked like your underwear was pressing equally hard into your flesh as it was into the thin pants you wore. But it is the thought of the sweet, sweet relief that you must feel when you take those things off that captivated\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5003","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5003"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5003\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5003"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5003"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5003"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}