{"id":5026,"date":"2017-04-21T20:19:08","date_gmt":"2017-04-22T00:19:08","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/openletters\/?p=4973"},"modified":"2017-04-21T20:19:08","modified_gmt":"2017-04-22T00:19:08","slug":"in-an-open-letter-to-the-the-senior-citizen-who-veered-off-of-his-path-to-get-a-better-look-at-my-butt","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-the-senior-citizen-who-veered-off-of-his-path-to-get-a-better-look-at-my-butt\/","title":{"rendered":"In an open letter to the the senior citizen who veered off of his path to get a better look at my butt,"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Sir, my son told me all about that.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Sir, my son told me all about that.&#8221; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5026","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1j4","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5148,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-who-asked-me-whether-my-son-was-my-boyfriend\/","url_meta":{"origin":5026,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the man who asked me whether my son was my boyfriend,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 3, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cBasically everything that you said, sir, were inside thoughts that you let out. Especially the part where I informed you that the young man was my son and you responded with, \u2018I was thinking he got himself a good looking girl\u2026.\u201d\u00a0","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3339,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-dad-who-wasnt-watching-his-kids-very-well-in-the-restaurant\/","url_meta":{"origin":5026,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the dad who wasn\u2019t watching his kids very well in the restaurant,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 1, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIf you would have been paying closer attention, you would have seen your son digging deep between his flip-flopped toes. Wait\u2026now I understand\u2026you didn\u2019t want to see that. You, sir, are a pro\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2422,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-tanned-shirtless-silver-fox-i-saw-on-my-lunch-break\/","url_meta":{"origin":5026,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the tanned, shirtless silver fox I saw on my lunch break,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 1, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSir, I have said this before, but I need to say it again; I am not used to this seasonal nudity. You, sir, almost caused me to walk right out into traffic with all your shirtlessness, and that tan, and those abs. You may just be a danger to innocent\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3624,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-phil-collins\/","url_meta":{"origin":5026,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to Phil Collins,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 14, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYour music makes my heart swell with so many feelings. You, sir, transport me back to the longing of the adolescent years. Not the curiosity, that belongs to Prince, but the longing; you are the soundtrack to that awakening\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5306,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2019\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-who-stared-at-my-chest-as-if-it-were-a-magic-eye-poster\/","url_meta":{"origin":5026,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the man who stared at my chest as if it were a Magic Eye poster,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 28, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSir,\u00a0 you were pushing what appeared to be a very heavy cart. You put everyone\u2019s toes in jeopardy. 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