{"id":5033,"date":"2017-04-30T13:58:42","date_gmt":"2017-04-30T17:58:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/openletters\/?p=4983"},"modified":"2017-04-30T13:58:42","modified_gmt":"2017-04-30T17:58:42","slug":"in-an-open-letter-to-the-voice-recognition-software-on-her-phone","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-voice-recognition-software-on-her-phone\/","title":{"rendered":"In an open letter to the voice recognition software on her phone,"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;So, here&#8217;s the thing. A human would know that if a certain four letter word has been used, that all of the following gerunds would feature a dropped g.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;So, here&#8217;s the thing. A human would know that if a certain four letter word has been used, that all of the following gerunds would feature a dropped g.&#8221; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5033","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1jb","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2585,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-term-depanty\/","url_meta":{"origin":5033,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the term \u201cdepanty,\u201d","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI want so badly for you to be a word. Of course you would mean to remove the panties of, but you would be a word that is only used in certain applications. Depanty is not a word for lovers. Depanty is something that goes with too hot clothing on\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5123,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-tripped-and-unknowlingly-dropped-her-baggie-of-weed\/","url_meta":{"origin":5033,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the woman who tripped and unknowlingly dropped her baggie of weed,","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 14, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cUm, I think you should have thanked me, especially since this is the one time in my life I\u2019ve had a bag of pot in my hand.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2552,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-word-daddy-in-non-familial-applications\/","url_meta":{"origin":5033,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the word \u201cdaddy\u201d in non-familial applications,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 17, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSo the thing is in songs, I can dig you. There are so many examples. George Michael did it. LL Cook J made it work\u2026but the moment my mind settles on you too long, I feel distinctly wiggly, not in a good way\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3155,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-two-young-mean-who-found-themselves-prey-to-my-eavesdropping-ear\/","url_meta":{"origin":5033,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the two young mean who found themselves prey to my eavesdropping ear,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI have to admit that I was utterly astounded by the number of times you used the word \u2018like.\u2019 You peppered your conversation quite liberally.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3156,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-two-young-mean-who-found-themselves-prey-to-my-eavesdropping-ear\/","url_meta":{"origin":5033,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the two young mean who found themselves prey to my eavesdropping ear,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI have to admit that I was utterly astounded by the number of times you used the word \u2018like.\u2019 You peppered your conversation quite liberally.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5161,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-whomever-dropped-what-appeared-to-be-a-super-or-super-plus-tampon-in-the-parking-structure-a-few-months-ago\/","url_meta":{"origin":5033,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to whomever dropped what appeared to be a super or super-plus tampon in the parking structure a few months ago,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 23, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI still feel guilty for not saying anything. I got paralyzed. I didn\u2019t know what to say. You were at least a floor above me. I hope that you had another one, or at least that were wearing black pants, or that you have someone at your job who slipped\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5033","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5033"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5033\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5033"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5033"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5033"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}