“Bravo. You look like you know how to live. Those pants looked so comfortable, yet stylish. I wonder if that’s the secret to the bright bounce in your step. Your panties, however, did not look so comfortable. I wonder if that’s the secret to the bright bounce in your step.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Bravo. You look like you know how to live. Those pants looked so comfortable, yet stylish. I wonder if that’s the secret to the bright bounce in your step. Your panties, however, did not look so comfortable. I wonder if that’s the secret to the bright bounce in your step.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5066","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1jI","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2531,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-word-panties\/","url_meta":{"origin":5066,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the word panties,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI totally think that you are treated unfairly. I actually like you. Part of this might be because I really, really like panties. Also, you\u2019re just so cute. You sound like pants\u2019 baby brother, or niece. Finally, I like you the way that you are written, that \u2018t\u2019 right there\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2789,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-khaki-colored-man-she-saw-walking-down-the-street\/","url_meta":{"origin":5066,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the khaki-colored man she saw walking down the street,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cExcuse me for thinking that you were walking down the street wearing a home-fashioned red and blue striped loin cloth. \u00a0I now know that it was your shirt tucked into the front of your pants. Turns out that just a few weeks ago, I saw a man walking down the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4392,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-wearing-very-thin-very-tight-khakis-this-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":5066,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the woman wearing very thin, very tight khakis this morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cOne glance and my mind went crazy. It looked like your underwear was pressing equally hard into your flesh as it was into the thin pants you wore. But it is the thought of the sweet, sweet relief that you must feel when you take those things off that captivated\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3412,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-wearing-the-short-sleeved-sweater\/","url_meta":{"origin":5066,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the woman wearing the short-sleeved sweater,","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 7, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt was probably about 6 weeks ago when I saw you. I don\u2019t know whether I was hypnotized, mesmerized, or generally confused. Short sleeved sweaters always confuse me. Yours threw in an additional twist because of the mohair-like texture. When I took a closer look, I saw that your sweater\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3052,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-middle-aged-woman-in-the-bright-red-jeggings\/","url_meta":{"origin":5066,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the middle-aged woman in the bright red jeggings,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 7, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIf your goal was to show us your every lump, bump, roll, and cranny, then you were successful. Congratulations!\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"exposure\"","block_context":{"text":"exposure","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/exposure\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2584,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-with-an-impressively-round-belly\/","url_meta":{"origin":5066,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the man with an impressively round belly,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI must confess it was the slice of skin made visible by the deficit between the bottom of your shirt and the top of your pants that first caught my eye. Then I noticed just how round your belly was. It was as if the gods scooped it from a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5066","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5066"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5066\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5066"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5066"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5066"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}