“Please do not ever again announce to the barista that I will soon be fertile. I don’t think he needed that information as I simply tried to pay for my drink using another app….”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Please do not ever again announce to the barista that I will soon be fertile. I don’t think he needed that information as I simply tried to pay for my drink using another app….” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5112","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1ks","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3316,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/03\/i-open-letter-to-the-barista-who-is-successfully-working-that-whole-minnie-mouse-vibe\/","url_meta":{"origin":5112,"position":0},"title":"I open letter to the barista who is successfully working that whole Minnie Mouse vibe,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 22, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cHow do you do it?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4307,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-panties-that-tried-to-ruin-my-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":5112,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the panties that tried to ruin my day,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt\u2019s a good thing that I took a look at the sweater I grabbed as I walked out the door before I put it on. At work. In front of someone. Please don\u2019t ever hitch a ride via static cling again.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3732,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/10\/how-to-eat-your-feelings-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":5112,"position":2},"title":"How to eat your feelings 2","author":"admin","date":"October 3, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"You try your best, pull from your reserve of energy to sort yourself out, start fresh. You fail. You hate to fail.\u00a0 You contemplate failure. You feel your past failures begin to swirl around you. It reminds you of the way that a room will begin to spin ominously if\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"how to eat your feelings\"","block_context":{"text":"how to eat your feelings","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/how-to-eat-your-feelings\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/IMG_03741.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3593,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-cat-caller-who-tried-to-shame-me-this-afternoon\/","url_meta":{"origin":5112,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the cat caller who tried to shame me this afternoon,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 21, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cContrary to the many things you said toward me as I refused to respond to your yelling, I don\u2019t think that I\u2019m better than other people. I simply don\u2019t respond to cat calls. It\u2019s a personal rule. It doesn\u2019t have anything to do with me being \u2018stuck up.\u2019 Also, while\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4972,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-joe-biden\/","url_meta":{"origin":5112,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to Joe Biden,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI need you more now than I have ever needed you. Can you visit me tonight while I sleep, you know, in my dreams? You can do whatever you want. You can read legislation verbatim. Bring Jill, brush her hair. Anything. You might be the only thing that can stop\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4932,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-notes-app\/","url_meta":{"origin":5112,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the notes app,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 4, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cThanks to you, I can remember the open letters that come to me when I am out in the world gawking at innocent people who are out there just trying to live.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5112","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5112"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5112\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5112"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5112"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5112"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}