“Sir, if you are going to unflinchingly make direct eye contact with me after boldly staring at my chest, I am going to unabashedly roll my eyes at you.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Sir, if you are going to unflinchingly make direct eye contact with me after boldly staring at my chest, I am going to unabashedly roll my eyes at you.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5133","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1kN","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4166,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/12\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-unabashedly-coughing\/","url_meta":{"origin":5133,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the woman unabashedly coughing,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 8, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI suppose I should thank you. The suggestion of phlegm in your plentiful uncovered coughs made me stop eating immediately. You are a diet plan.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5306,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2019\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-who-stared-at-my-chest-as-if-it-were-a-magic-eye-poster\/","url_meta":{"origin":5133,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the man who stared at my chest as if it were a Magic Eye poster,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 28, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSir,\u00a0 you were pushing what appeared to be a very heavy cart. You put everyone\u2019s toes in jeopardy. Be better.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4507,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-who-looked-at-my-breasts-hungrily-then-made-direct-eye-contact-with-me\/","url_meta":{"origin":5133,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the man who looked at my breasts hungrily, then made direct eye contact with me,","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 22, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI have never experienced a stare like that. You looked like you wanted to eat my bosom, literally, on a plate with fork and knife. Sir, you frightened me. I wanted to cradle my lady shelf in my arms. I felt a need to protect them. That and to walk\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2401,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-with-the-morris-day-hair\/","url_meta":{"origin":5133,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the man with the Morris Day hair,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 25, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI couldn\u2019t help myself. Your hair caught my eye early this morning. I didn\u2019t want to be all obvious about getting a closer look. I\u2019m afraid that this made me behave in a creepy fashion, inching my car slowly forward and looking at you not by turning my head, but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3387,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-she-encountered-who-reminded-her-of-bone-thugs-n-harmony\/","url_meta":{"origin":5133,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the man she encountered who reminded her of Bone Thugs-N-Harmony,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 15, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou looked at my chest so intently that I felt compelled to verify that nothing had escaped my shirt. You also made strong eye contact. This combination threw me off a little bit.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5024,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-truck-driver-who-drove-by-while-making-strong-direct-eye-contact-with-me-as-i-applied-my-chapstick\/","url_meta":{"origin":5133,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the truck driver who drove by while making strong, direct eye contact with me as I applied my chapstick,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 16, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cDude. That felt weird.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5133","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5133"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5133\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5133"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5133"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5133"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}