“So, one of the things that I’m assessing is whether or not I believe that, should things get to that point, whether I think you will handle my very expensive bra with care and respect.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“So, one of the things that I’m assessing is whether or not I believe that, should things get to that point, whether I think you will handle my very expensive bra with care and respect.” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5135","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1kP","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4303,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-busty-woman-considering-taking-the-trash-out-to-the-dumpster-without-putting-on-a-bra-first\/","url_meta":{"origin":5135,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to a busty woman considering taking the trash out to the dumpster without putting on a bra first,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 18, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cJust put on the bra. Otherwise you will wonder whether your neighbors see you. You will also wonder if the movement of your unfettered breasts reminds them of a waterbed. Or just put on a heavy coat. I mean, uh, this is what my imagination says\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3412,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/07\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-wearing-the-short-sleeved-sweater\/","url_meta":{"origin":5135,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the woman wearing the short-sleeved sweater,","author":"sherlonya","date":"July 7, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt was probably about 6 weeks ago when I saw you. I don\u2019t know whether I was hypnotized, mesmerized, or generally confused. Short sleeved sweaters always confuse me. Yours threw in an additional twist because of the mohair-like texture. When I took a closer look, I saw that your sweater\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3230,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-irrational-fears\/","url_meta":{"origin":5135,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to her irrational fears,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 18, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cNo matter what you\u2019d have me believe, I know that no one is going to steal my bra when I go to the gym and leave me to go back to work un-scaffolded\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4666,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-stowing-her-phone-in-her-bra\/","url_meta":{"origin":5135,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the woman stowing her phone in her bra,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou don\u2019t have the rack for that.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4327,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-man-to-whom-i-lied\/","url_meta":{"origin":5135,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to a man to whom I lied,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 1, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI don\u2019t mean to be a liar, I was just put on the spot. I was trying to politely communicate that I\u2019m not interested in any, um, extracurricular activities. That\u2019s why when you asked me whether I hang out, I said, \u2018No.\u2019 I mean, what else was there to say?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "drinks"","block_context":{"text":"drinks","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/drinks\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3362,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-regarding-the-sports-bra-moving-vehicle-incident\/","url_meta":{"origin":5135,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to herself regarding the sports bra-moving vehicle incident,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 28, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cListen, I know you\u2019re trying to squeeze it all in, but trying to change your clothes as you drove from picking up your son to your exercise was a bad move. You deserved to be tangled and exposed at the wheel. 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