“I sensed a little anger from you because I didn’t move my shopping cart forward when you thought I should. However, your four-year-old’s fingers were a couple inches away from the wheels of the cart, so I decided to, you know, spare his fingers. I’m trying to be a better person, so I not going to hope that you seethed all of the way home.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“I sensed a little anger from you because I didn’t move my shopping cart forward when you thought I should. However, your four-year-old’s fingers were a couple inches away from the wheels of the cart, so I decided to, you know, spare his fingers. I’m trying to be a better person, so I not going […] <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[205,1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5179","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenthood","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1lx","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4702,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2016\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-woman-who-had-the-following-in-her-shopping-cart-cat-food-kitty-litter-chocolate-bunnies-bread-garlic-toast-and-corn-tortillas\/","url_meta":{"origin":5179,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the woman who had the following in her shopping cart: cat food, kitty litter, chocolate bunnies, bread, garlic toast, and corn tortillas,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 8, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cPeeking in your cart brought joy to my heart.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5004,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-at-the-store-with-an-infant-in-his-shopping-cart\/","url_meta":{"origin":5179,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the man at the store with an infant in his shopping cart,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 15, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI bet your pre-baby body was slammin.'\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2446,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-cute-guy-she-saw-digging-in-his-butt\/","url_meta":{"origin":5179,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the cute guy she saw digging in his butt,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWhen I saw the confidence with which you used four fingers to scratch your butt deeply. I was sure you were going to smell your fingers. Instead you used that hand to dig in your ear. While you are cute, your pleasant face did not overcome these indiscretions\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2711,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/08\/cheddar-jalapeno-biscuits\/","url_meta":{"origin":5179,"position":3},"title":"Cheddar Jalapeno Biscuits","author":"admin","date":"August 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Listening to the Alton Brown podcast made me want to make biscuits. In one of the episodes, he started to talk about his grandmother's biscuits. In another episode he mentioned that he doesn't drink a lot of dairy around, but keeps it around for biscuits. He reignited the biscuit lust\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "baking"","block_context":{"text":"baking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/baking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/08\/biscuits.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":3362,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-regarding-the-sports-bra-moving-vehicle-incident\/","url_meta":{"origin":5179,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to herself regarding the sports bra-moving vehicle incident,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 28, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cListen, I know you\u2019re trying to squeeze it all in, but trying to change your clothes as you drove from picking up your son to your exercise was a bad move. You deserved to be tangled and exposed at the wheel. But, I do have to say that your resolve\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2537,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-bicyclist-who-rode-while-exposing-a-good-three-inches-of-rear-end\/","url_meta":{"origin":5179,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the bicyclist who rode while exposing a good three inches of rear end,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 11, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSir, it was the exposed buttock region that first got my attention. Then, however, I noticed that the crackside shadows made it look like you were wearing thong panties. So, of course, I had to get a closer look. I didn\u2019t see any underwear at all. This is, of course,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5179","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5179"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5179\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5179"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5179"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5179"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}