\u201cUm…. That didn\u2019t make me feel safe….\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cUm…. That didn\u2019t make me feel safe….\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5267","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1mX","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4327,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-man-to-whom-i-lied\/","url_meta":{"origin":5267,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to a man to whom I lied,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 1, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI don\u2019t mean to be a liar, I was just put on the spot. I was trying to politely communicate that I\u2019m not interested in any, um, extracurricular activities. That\u2019s why when you asked me whether I hang out, I said, \u2018No.\u2019 I mean, what else was there to say?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "drinks"","block_context":{"text":"drinks","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/drinks\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2601,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/06\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-nsa\/","url_meta":{"origin":5267,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the NSA,","author":"sherlonya","date":"June 10, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWe\u2019ll, I\u2019m pretty sure that you know about my TSA fantasies. Now I don\u2019t know where it is safe to be embarrassed.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2377,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-four-legs-i-saw-this-morning\/","url_meta":{"origin":5267,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the four legs I saw this morning,","author":"sherlonya","date":"April 23, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYoung ladies, if you are going to wear panty-length shorts before us Michiganders are accustomed to seasonal nudity, I suggest you stick to sidewalks instead of walking precariously on the edge of the road. Be safe!\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"legs\"","block_context":{"text":"legs","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/legs\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3832,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-richard-nixon\/","url_meta":{"origin":5267,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to Richard Nixon,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 18, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI didn\u2019t mean to imagine you in the bathtub, and then to imagine you picking at a terry cloth robe. It just happened, and I couldn\u2019t stop\u2026\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "Presidents"","block_context":{"text":"Presidents","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/presidents-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3315,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-computer-that-turns-on-inconsistently\/","url_meta":{"origin":5267,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the computer that turns on inconsistently,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI thought you ate my novel. I\u2019m glad that you didn\u2019t eat my novel. Thanks for the chance to back it up!\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "writing"","block_context":{"text":"writing","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/writing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4363,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-many-old-people-i-saw-at-the-jimmy-carter-presidential-museum\/","url_meta":{"origin":5267,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the many old people I saw at the Jimmy Carter Presidential Museum,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 22, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cY\u2019all come out in force, don\u2019t you. You didn\u2019t fool me though. You wanted to learn President Carter\u2019s secret to longevity, no?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "Presidents"","block_context":{"text":"Presidents","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/presidents-2\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5267","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5267"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5267\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5267"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5267"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5267"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}