\u201cPlease help me avoid asking that man if he dyes his very thick, very dark mustache.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cPlease help me avoid asking that man if he dyes his very thick, very dark mustache.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5271","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1n1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":5261,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2018\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-other-person-who-is-reading-in-here\/","url_meta":{"origin":5271,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the other person who is reading in here,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 24, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI can\u2019t help but notice your book, glasses, mustache and ponytail. Oh and your little book of notes. I\u2019m dying to know, what are you reading?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "reading"","block_context":{"text":"reading","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/reading\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4294,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-eric-holder\/","url_meta":{"origin":5271,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to Eric Holder,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 16, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI really like all of the hair that grows out of your face, especially your mustache. Your eyebrows, too, are rather appealing. It makes me want to take an Oreo cookie, twist it open and greedily eat the cream. Then I want to take the two wafers and rub them\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4476,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/03\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-masked-man-asking-for-money-on-the-side-of-the-road\/","url_meta":{"origin":5271,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the masked man asking for money on the side of the road,","author":"sherlonya","date":"March 22, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou scared the stuffing out of me! That looked like something you\u2019d see on a crime drama. Your mask wasn\u2019t even scary. What was that a glow-in-the-dark evil clown? You made me take note of the time in case\u00a0there is a Crime Stoppers alert that has to do with you.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3192,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/01\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-pastry-recipe\/","url_meta":{"origin":5271,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to a pastry recipe,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI read a lot of recipes. However, I have yet to come across a recipe that uses the words \u2018until thick and pasty,\u2019 and also succeeds in continuing to sound tasty. Please take this into consideration.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "baking"","block_context":{"text":"baking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/baking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4315,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-a-young-man-about-ten-years-my-junior\/","url_meta":{"origin":5271,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter a young man about ten years my junior,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI couldn\u2019t hear all of the things that you said under your breath in order for me to hear them. I missed the first word, but the next few were, \u2018\u2026 and thick, and pretty, and cute.\u2019 I laughed, because I couldn\u2019t help it. You have braces. You may have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4397,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-who-continues-his-loud-conversation-in-the-waiting-room\/","url_meta":{"origin":5271,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to the man who continues his loud conversation in the waiting room,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 27, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWhile you\u2019re surprised that Planet Fitness, does not offer a sauna, this is not surprising. Also, saying, \u2018Asking big girl who has one isn\u2019t an option,\u2019 just wasn\u2019t nice. And just who are you talking to, asking her whether she\u2019s paying her car note today? 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