“Your pacing is freaking me out. Also, why do you pace away from your things and then stand directly in front of me for a pause?”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
“Your pacing is freaking me out. Also, why do you pace away from your things and then stand directly in front of me for a pause?” <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5290","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1nk","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4022,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-two-motorists-i-watch-blatantly-run-red-lights\/","url_meta":{"origin":5290,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the two motorists I watch blatantly run red lights,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 6, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou all are the reason that I always indulge in an extra pause when my light turns green. You\u2019re dangerous.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5185,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-man-two-out-of-three-who-stared-directly-into-my-crotch-as-i-ran-my-sunday-errands\/","url_meta":{"origin":5290,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to man two out of three who stared directly into my crotch as I ran my Sunday errands,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIsn\u2019t Sunday the day of rest?\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2941,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-neighbor-in-the-throes-of-a-football-game\/","url_meta":{"origin":5290,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the neighbor in the throes of a football game,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 29, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI am not sure how you\u2019re managing to scream out in a way that sounds like you\u2019re yelling directly into my apartment. That I live on the second floor, and that I don\u2019t directly face anyone, makes this even more perplexing. I wonder if this is an achievement of voice\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"neighbors\"","block_context":{"text":"neighbors","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/neighbors\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5186,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/10\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-senior-citizen-who-stared-directly-into-my-crotch-as-he-shopped-with-his-lady-at-costco\/","url_meta":{"origin":5290,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to the senior citizen who stared directly into my crotch as he shopped with his lady at Costco,","author":"sherlonya","date":"October 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cWait, is the fountain of youth in my pants? Otherwise, I have no viable reason for that sort of penetrating look.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5133,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-middle-aged-man-who-looked-directly-at-my-breasts-as-i-exited-the-store-while-he-entered\/","url_meta":{"origin":5290,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the middle-aged man who looked directly at my breasts as I exited the store while he entered,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 5, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSir, if you are going to unflinchingly make direct eye contact with me after boldly staring at my chest, I am going to unabashedly roll my eyes at you.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4216,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/12\/in-a-peevish-open-letter-to-her-son\/","url_meta":{"origin":5290,"position":5},"title":"In a peevish open letter to her son,","author":"sherlonya","date":"December 30, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou consistently wait until I clean up an area and then proceed to take up the entire area. This makes me angry every time. I tell you about this. And this is why when you wake up, having slept on the couch, that you are going to find a pile\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "parenthood"","block_context":{"text":"parenthood","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/parenthood\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5290","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5290"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5290\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5290"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5290"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5290"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}