\u201cWe both know I was here first. Also, I knew you were going to do that; I could sense it.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cWe both know I was here first. Also, I knew you were going to do that; I could sense it.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5292","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1nm","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3000,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-gerald-ford\/","url_meta":{"origin":5292,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to Gerald Ford,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 20, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI have been thinking this ever since I visited Grand Rapids. You really knew how to wear a suit. \u00a0Also, you knew how to bald gracefully, a sign of your character in an age of hair.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "hair"","block_context":{"text":"hair","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/hair\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2553,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-ipad\/","url_meta":{"origin":5292,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to her iPad,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 18, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI am disturbed by how quickly your auto fill mechanism knew that I wanted the word, \u2018inappropriate.\u2019\u201d","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3699,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-gross-granola-bars-i-bought-in-bulk-before-i-knew-they-were-gross\/","url_meta":{"origin":5292,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the gross granola bars I bought in bulk before I knew they were gross,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 23, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cIt wasn\u2019t until I looked into my lunch bag to discover that, despite my remaining hunger, the bag was empty that I fully appreciated you. 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