\u201cAre you intentionally positioned for maximum sprawl? The purse, the stretching out, you look like you\u2019ve mistaken this area for the beach. Oh, I stand corrected as you bring your unleashed dog into the coffee shop….\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cAre you intentionally positioned for maximum sprawl? The purse, the stretching out, you look like you\u2019ve mistaken this area for the beach. Oh, I stand corrected as you bring your unleashed dog into the coffee shop….\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5293","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1nn","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":4108,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-feelings-unleashed-by-prematurely-listening-to-harry-connick-jr-doing-christmas-songs\/","url_meta":{"origin":5293,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the feelings unleashed by prematurely listening to Harry Connick Jr. doing Christmas songs,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 11, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cEven I am at a loss for words right now, but I have to tell you that wondering whether this music is regularly used to seduce during the holiday season is, well, a little different. As for the thought, \u2018this is the kind of music that makes you feel up\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2292,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/02\/in-an-open-letter-to-a-piece-of-king-cake-that-made-me-want\/","url_meta":{"origin":5293,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to a piece of king cake that made me want,","author":"sherlonya","date":"February 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI probably shouldn\u2019t be telling you this, but as soon as I took that bread knife in hand, I knew that my basest desires would be unleashed. I have never felt this way about a piece of food before, but you made a million Prince songs go through my head,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"cake\"","block_context":{"text":"cake","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/cake\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4315,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2015\/01\/in-an-open-letter-a-young-man-about-ten-years-my-junior\/","url_meta":{"origin":5293,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter a young man about ten years my junior,","author":"sherlonya","date":"January 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI couldn\u2019t hear all of the things that you said under your breath in order for me to hear them. I missed the first word, but the next few were, \u2018\u2026 and thick, and pretty, and cute.\u2019 I laughed, because I couldn\u2019t help it. You have braces. You may have\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3356,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-in-reference-to-the-purse-incident\/","url_meta":{"origin":5293,"position":3},"title":"In an open letter to herself in reference to the purse incident,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 29, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou know, there are reasons that people pack their lunches and snacks in a separate bag than their purses. Did it really need to take a banana to drive that point home to you? Also, did your hunger level really justify you eating the remains of that banana over a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2933,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/09\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-very-well-curated-young-woman-perched-precariously-on-a-ledge-not-intended-for-sitting\/","url_meta":{"origin":5293,"position":4},"title":"In an open letter to the very well curated young woman perched precariously on a ledge not intended for sitting,","author":"sherlonya","date":"September 29, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI noticed you trying to take a selfie as you positioned both your camera and your cigarette just so. I hope you don\u2019t set yourself on fire one day. Seriously. Be careful.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"danger\"","block_context":{"text":"danger","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/danger\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":4918,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/01\/in-search-of-a-coney-dog\/","url_meta":{"origin":5293,"position":5},"title":"In Search of a Coney Dog","author":"admin","date":"January 6, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"On a whim, I asked Alex if he wanted to go on a quest to find the best coney dog in the area. Okay, okay, area \u00a0has a loose interpretation here. I included Flint because despite being from Flint, I've never had a coney at Angelo's. Why did I even\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "food"","block_context":{"text":"food","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/food\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/noun_728313_cc.png?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5293","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5293"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5293\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5293"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5293"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5293"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}