\u201cPlease don\u2019t squeeze the Charmin.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201cPlease don\u2019t squeeze the Charmin.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[205,1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5326","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-parenthood","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1nU","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2426,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-on-a-questionable-hair-day\/","url_meta":{"origin":5326,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to herself on a questionable hair day,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 2, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cLady, next time you squeeze a more-than-quarter-sized dollop of hair gel into your hand, \u00a0just scrape some of it into the sink. This is especially true if you don\u2019t even know when you last relaxed your hair. Otherwise, you will catch a glimpse of yourself in your car window and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "open letters"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3362,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-herself-regarding-the-sports-bra-moving-vehicle-incident\/","url_meta":{"origin":5326,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to herself regarding the sports bra-moving vehicle incident,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 28, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cListen, I know you\u2019re trying to squeeze it all in, but trying to change your clothes as you drove from picking up your son to your exercise was a bad move. You deserved to be tangled and exposed at the wheel. But, I do have to say that your resolve\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":5138,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2017\/08\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-man-old-enough-to-be-my-father-who-grabbed-my-rump-during-a-public-event-celebrating-the-eclipse\/","url_meta":{"origin":5326,"position":2},"title":"In an open letter to the man old enough to be my father who grabbed my rump during a public event celebrating the eclipse,","author":"sherlonya","date":"August 22, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI wish I would have \u2018accidentally\u2019 stepped on your foot. Hard. Also, is there no stolen touches etiquette? A more polite way to violate a stranger? Couldn\u2019t you have done with a knuckle graze rather than an actual deliberate squeeze? Also, couldn\u2019t you grab and go rather than stay nearby.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":295,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2009\/09\/third-monday\/","url_meta":{"origin":5326,"position":3},"title":"Third Monday","author":"admin","date":"September 21, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"The third Monday of the month goes a lot like this: 6:15 Wake up and get myself ready for the day 6:45 Wake Alex up and get him ready for the day. 7:00 Breakfast 7:30 Leave for school 8:00 Drop Alex off at School 8:30 Meeting at work 12:00 (or\u2026","rel":"","context":"In \"introspection\"","block_context":{"text":"introspection","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/introspection\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3254,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2014\/01\/attitude-is-everything\/","url_meta":{"origin":5326,"position":4},"title":"Attitude is Everything","author":"admin","date":"January 30, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Everything is talking about how dang cold it is. I'm one of them. But I won't do that here because whatever I have to say has been said. I've decided though to dig into my deepest optimism and try to think about winter in a positive way. I'm bringing out\u2026","rel":"","context":"Similar post","block_context":{"text":"Similar post","link":""},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":613,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2010\/03\/old-standby\/","url_meta":{"origin":5326,"position":5},"title":"Old Standby","author":"admin","date":"March 28, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"Everyone has that old standby recipe, right? There is that one ingredient that whispers at you, cat calls perhaps, as you walk by it in the grocery store. My ingredient is kale. When there is a bunch of kale, it will not go bad. I will dress it simply and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "cooking"","block_context":{"text":"cooking","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/cooking\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/03\/DSCN0587-300x225.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5326","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5326"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5326\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5326"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5326"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5326"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}