{"id":5480,"date":"2021-08-08T08:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-08-08T12:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/sherlonya.net\/openletters\/?p=5086"},"modified":"2021-08-08T08:00:00","modified_gmt":"2021-08-08T12:00:00","slug":"in-an-open-to-the-very-bold-mystery-bruise-on-my-upper-thigh","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2021\/08\/in-an-open-to-the-very-bold-mystery-bruise-on-my-upper-thigh\/","title":{"rendered":"In an open to the very bold mystery bruise on my upper thigh,"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t even know what caused you, but I don&#8217;t like the way that you make my life look a little more adventurous than it really is.&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t even know what caused you, but I don&#8217;t like the way that you make my life look a little more adventurous than it really is.&#8221; <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[764],"class_list":["post-5480","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-open-letters","entry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p33KTw-1qo","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2977,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/11\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-police-officer-that-almost-caused-me-to-run-up-on-a-nearby-curb\/","url_meta":{"origin":5480,"position":0},"title":"In an open letter to the police officer that almost caused me to run up on a nearby curb,","author":"sherlonya","date":"November 13, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cI don\u2019t get to say this often, but you were working those polyester pants.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In \"open letters\"","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/tag\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2422,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-the-tanned-shirtless-silver-fox-i-saw-on-my-lunch-break\/","url_meta":{"origin":5480,"position":1},"title":"In an open letter to the tanned, shirtless silver fox I saw on my lunch break,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 1, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cSir, I have said this before, but I need to say it again; I am not used to this seasonal nudity. You, sir, almost caused me to walk right out into traffic with all your shirtlessness, and that tan, and those abs. You may just be a danger to innocent\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3091,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/12\/the-kind-of-gal-who-likes-to-click-around-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":5480,"position":2},"title":"The kind of gal who likes to click around","author":"admin","date":"December 24, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I love the idea of headbands more than I actually wear them. That explains why I was immediately attracted to this headband pattern. I may have let out some strange, inappropriate-for-public-consumption noise when I saw a picture of these candied kumquats. Must make those this year!! 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The mob destroyed the building and fought against any black people (and presumably others) who\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Mathematics of a Race Riot&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Mathematics of a Race Riot","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/mathematics-of-a-race-riot\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"carousel","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.riotnumbers.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/03\/carousel-257x300.gif?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2445,"url":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/2013\/05\/in-an-open-letter-to-her-inner-voyeur\/","url_meta":{"origin":5480,"position":5},"title":"In an open letter to her inner voyeur,","author":"sherlonya","date":"May 3, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cYou should not be allowed to walk at dusk. You cannot both handle all of that domestic, open-blinds activity, and be aware of your surroundings\u2026.\u201d","rel":"","context":"In &quot;open letters&quot;","block_context":{"text":"open letters","link":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/category\/open-letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5480","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5480"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5480\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5480"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5480"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sherlonya.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5480"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}