Open Letters:

From Me to Some of Everyone

Tag: dead cats

In an open letter to the better angels of my nature,

“Please help me avoid asking that man if he dyes his very thick, very dark mustache.”

In an open letter to herself,

“Why would you click on something called sexed up savory oatmeal?”

In an open letter to the tall girl wearing very short shorts,

“It was difficult not to look at your crotch because I wondered whether your shorts were successfully covering your lady bits. I also wondered whether those shorts hurt. But that’s none of my business….”