Open Letters:

From Me to Some of Everyone

Tag: exercise

In an open letter to exercise and eating more deliberately,

“Thank you for helping me to feel less packed into my workout clothes.”

In an open letter to anyone in her mid-thirties who might decide to run a couple miles after a 6.5 month running hiatus,

“Girl, you got to stretch your hip flexors.”

In an open letter to her crankiest self,

“Listen, you have got to lay off on the taking things personally. You are in control of your reactions and you need to start acting like it. I think you need to get back into running, you Clydesdale. You could use some endorphins….”

In an open letter to herself regarding the sports bra-moving vehicle incident,

“Listen, I know you’re trying to squeeze it all in, but trying to change your clothes as you drove from picking up your son to your exercise was a bad move. You deserved to be tangled and exposed at the wheel. But, I do have to say that your resolve to look directly forward and […]

In an open letter to her body,

“I don’t really need to be reminded that I’m not in my twenties anymore. However, I will bike or use the elliptical machine tomorrow based on what you put the knees up to. Also, I want you to know that I heard you, via my hips, telling me that I need to stretch. Anything else […]

In an open an open letter to herself,

“If you do not go to the gym for a long time, but then go spend 40 minutes on a treadmill constantly playing with the incline and the speed, and then follow that with squats and ab exercises that you used to do but don’ t do anymore, things will hurt. All of the things, […]

In an open letter to her twitching eye,

“If I start running again, will you cut that out?”

In an open letter to the woman who selected the elliptical machine right next to mine,

“Why? Just why? Next time I encounter someone like you I am going to just do what I wanted to do, choose another elliptical machine. Doing that and feeling like a jerk is better than becoming angry and tense because out of the eight or so elliptical machines you wanted the one right next to […]

In an open letter to the guy who pulled up beside me to ask me if I’m single,

“Oh, hi! Thanks for reminding me why I don’t walk outdoors as much as I used to. I guess everyone can benefit from a little dose of reality.”

In an open letter to the tanned, shirtless silver fox I saw on my lunch break,

“Sir, I have said this before, but I need to say it again; I am not used to this seasonal nudity. You, sir, almost caused me to walk right out into traffic with all your shirtlessness, and that tan, and those abs. You may just be a danger to innocent pedestrians. And, uh, can I […]