Open Letters:

From Me to Some of Everyone

Tag: modesty

In an open letter to the portly gentleman in synthetic pants,

“I am upset by the visibility of your junk. This is my problem; I understand this.”

In an open letter to her ample bosom,

“You know that I try my best to keep you hidden from the prying eyes of aggressive disrespectors of personal space. However, on occasion, I walk by a reflective surface and find that you are insufficiently hidden. In these moments I often wonder whether I could stage a miniature puppet show there. Might as well […]

In an open letter to the tall girl wearing very short shorts,

“It was difficult not to look at your crotch because I wondered whether your shorts were successfully covering your lady bits. I also wondered whether those shorts hurt. But that’s none of my business….”

In an open letter to the middle-aged woman in the bright red jeggings,

“If your goal was to show us your every lump, bump, roll, and cranny, then you were successful. Congratulations!”

In a open letter to a hard-loved pair of jeans,

“We’ve had some good times together. You, sweet jeans, have given me the kind generosity a girl like me needs in the thigh region. Alas, the thighs have taken their toll, and you are now sporting a hole in the upper inner thigh region. It is best for your reputation and for mine for you […]

In an open letter to dark underwear,

“Thank you for showing me that the gray shirt I thought was somewhat boring and conservative is actually somewhat see-through. I have made a note of this.”