Open Letters:

From Me to Some of Everyone

Tag: shopping

In an open letter to the woman I’ve named Grandma Maggie who appeared to be trying to redeem a stack of expired coupons,

“Whew! That took awhile. You gave me the chance to have a whole eyeball conversation with the other black lady in line. For that, I thank you.”

In an open letter to myself,

“Listen, you do not need any taffeta. You will never need any taffeta. Don’t buy the taffeta. You’re not even listening to me, are you?”

In an open letter to the woman I’ve named Grandma Maggie who appeared to be trying to redeem a stack of expired coupons,

“Whew! That took awhile. You gave me the chance to have a whole eyeball conversation with the other black lady in line. For that, I thank you.”

In an open letter to the lady who reached over my shopping cart in the store in order to start putting her items on the belt,

“I sensed a little anger from you because I didn’t move my shopping cart forward when you thought I should. However, your four-year-old’s fingers were a couple inches away from the wheels of the cart, so I decided to, you know, spare his fingers. I’m trying to be a better person, so I not going […]

In an open letter to the woman who had the following in her shopping cart: cat food, kitty litter, chocolate bunnies, bread, garlic toast, and corn tortillas,

“Peeking in your cart brought joy to my heart.”

In an open letter to the cashier at Target,

“A couple of days later, I wish I would have just told you that I have some irritated skin on my neck. Instead, I keep wondering what you thought when I bought two different ointments and nothing else.”

In an open letter to the woman at the store whom I judged,

“I didn’t set out to judge you. However, I allowed myself to be pulled down by your behavior at the deli. You, ma’am, are an anchor. You made sure that you got to the counter before I did, and then when the employee who served me was faster than the one who served you, you […]

In an open letter to the corpulent man with an oppressive nose,

“I have to admit that I enjoyed watching you being ignored as you tried to summon a cashier who was attending other customers by waving your hand weakly in her direction. I could wonder why you didn’t hit the button on the self check that is to get store employee attention. I could also wonder […]

In an open letter to the woman blocking all of the cheese at the deli counter,

“You seemed uncomfortable when I tried to get a peek at the cheeses despite my generous following distance.”

In an open letter to the woman in front of her in the store who blocked the near by aisle diagonally,

“I blame my crankiness on being sick, but I have to wonder if there is a school, or at least a non-credit workshop, for what you did. You see, for a woman so dang small, you managed to take up a lot of space. Is this to make up for your tinyness? Does it make […]