In an open letter to men who wear pants that, uh, accentuate their silhouettes,

“I am no junk-gazer, but some of you are wearing pants these days that make it hard to concentrate. Not in an ooh-and ah way, for the record. No, this is more in a ‘Wait. Was that? I think that was…what is going on here? kind of way.’ It is distracting. I’m just saying if one gender can be called out for wearing distracting clothes, so should another….”