“I was headed right toward you when I heard some strange sounds coming from your direction. I looked up and saw what looked like a plastic bag from a grocery store moving beneath a tree. However, the movement wasn’t consistent with what you expect from a bag. I moved closer, absorbed in a bit of self-loathing because I can never find a pair of headphones when I want them. That’s when I realized that I wasn’t looking at a bag but at you, a skunk. I saw that you were looking at me, too. Thank you for not spraying me.”