“I’ve touched on this topic before, and I really think you’re missing an opportunity. Here I sit smelling like…well, I don’t know what exactly I smell like, but it isn’t good. The conditioner I put on my hair has me wanting to run away from my own head. I would love to smell like peaches right now. Or coconut. Or some ancient tropical flower. Anything but this. Please take this issue to the higher ups….”