In an open letter to the khaki-colored man she saw walking down the street,

“Excuse me for thinking that you were walking down the street wearing a home-fashioned red and blue striped loin cloth.  I now know that it was your shirt tucked into the front of your pants. Turns out that just a few weeks ago, I saw a man walking down the street wearing nothing but his saggy boxer-briefs. So when I saw your unabashed shirtlessness, I just assumed you weren’t wearing any pants either. I can’t believe I even looked twice, but that’s when I noticed that your pants color and your skin color are identical. I wonder, was this a custom order?”