“Dude, you didn’t think I’d text your dad when you told me that you had a shower today. Thing is, if you tell me that you had a shower today and you tell me that you put on deodorant and your armpits smell somewhere between zesty and piquant, then something is wrong. You probably should learn now that if I think something’s wrong, then I’m going to investigate. Turns out in this case, what’s wrong are the words coming out of your mouth. I don’t like that.”