“Do you all have a product for wild sleepers who manage to consistently lose their socks in the bed? Being active in your sleep doesn’t mean your feet don’t get cold. There’s a market out there for you; I’m sure of it.”
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Curry Turkey Chili
I have a healthy appreciation for curry. Indian curries, Thai curries, West Indian curries…all kinds of curries. I’ll even take bastardized curries. Well, those are the ones I tend to whip up. I also have a fondness for chili. I will eat all sorts of chili. I’ll try ingredients that I don’t even usually… Continue reading Curry Turkey Chili
In an open an open letter to herself,
“If you do not go to the gym for a long time, but then go spend 40 minutes on a treadmill constantly playing with the incline and the speed, and then follow that with squats and ab exercises that you used to do but don’ t do anymore, things will hurt. All of the things, […]
I an open letter to the mom with the screaming child in the waiting room,
“I couldn’t help but hear you attempt to comfort your child. She isn’t ‘fussing’ as you called it. She was wailing. She put her whole body into it, too.”
In an open letter to metadata,
“I don’t like to create you, but I do enjoy that you’re there. I take advantage of you often.”
In an open letter to herself for the rare moments she finds herself listening to a rap song,
“Your problem is the way that you think about this music. You should enjoy the language, particularly the clever turns of phrase and the metaphors. What you should not do is think about the physiology of what’s happening in many of these songs. Once your brain goes there, it’s too hard for you to come […]
In an open letter to songs that are supposedly sexy,
“So many of you sound more like threats than anything else. Thought you should know.”
In an open letter to Pavlov,
“Why am I incapable of being conditioned against clicking when I know I shouldn’t?
In an open letter to T. I.,
“Dude, I don’t even really listen to your genre, as you can tell both to my use of the word dude earlier in this sentence, and also by my non-lyrical, non-ironic self-referencing sentence. However, I have to confess to you that ‘Why You Wanna’ is my current power song. This is not to say that […]
In an open letter to a dream involving a gross bathroom,
“You woke me up. I never again want to see a scene where the toilets are trashcans, there is wetness all over the floors, and the stalls are partitioned by well-worn shower curtains. Also, I don’t want to see a hair salon situation in such a setting. Finally, since I’m no longer sleeping, those images […]