https://www.instagram.com/p/BUdlgClA3kr/?taken-by=sherlonya A little while ago, I decided that I was going to do a Whole 30. You know the one. The plan where you eliminate a bunch of different things from your diet. By a bunch of things, I mean added sugar, grains, legumes, ALCOHOL (moment of silence, please), and dairy. The idea is that… Continue reading Whole 30 Here I Come
In an open letter to the woman walking across campus with a confident strut and the comfortable looking pants,
“Bravo. You look like you know how to live. Those pants looked so comfortable, yet stylish. I wonder if that’s the secret to the bright bounce in your step. Your panties, however, did not look so comfortable. I wonder if that’s the secret to the bright bounce in your step.”
In an open letter to the friendly man who sat next to me at the Hall and Oates concert,
“I suspect that the reason you started talking to me is because you felt bad that I was there by myself. It was a little weird how you kept leaning over though putting your upper side in contact with mine to tell me how much your wife was into the concert, but that you were […]
In an open letter to the woman in very short shorts and fishnet stockings,
“If this were a Nelly concert I would think you were thematically dressed, letting it fall out and all. If this were Morris Day and the Time I would think you were paying Homage.”
In an open letter to the lady in the drugstore buying allergy medicine and condoms,
“Please tell me these two items are not related to each other.”
In an open letter to the three men who managed to take up the entire very wide sidewalk with their slow, loose-jointed walk,
“Did y’all have to train in order to achieve this? Is there a particular technique you use?”
In an open letter to a self who realized that her tunic was caught in her backpack leaving her hind quarters kinda exposed,
“Yeah, so the exclaiming at yourself, ‘Great. Everything’s hanging out now!’ in a somewhat audible tone probably was not the best move.”
In an open letter to the middle-aged man sitting at an adjacent table talking to another middleaged man,
“Did you just say ‘sex couches’?”
In an open letter to the voice recognition software on her phone,
“So, here’s the thing. A human would know that if a certain four letter word has been used, that all of the following gerunds would feature a dropped g.”
In an open letter to autocorrect on the phone,
“Yes, I meant hotep, not hotel.”