I would advise you to protect your sacred spaces. If that’s your car, then protect your car space. If that’s your morning cup of coffee, then protect that cup of coffee. If that space is your sweet, sweet sleep, I advise you against having erotic dreams about the current president. Trust me on that last point. Trust me hard.
“Might I suggest to you a hot shower accompanied by the sultry sounds of Anita Baker. This is best enjoyed if you close your eyes during the most stirring parts of the songs as you let that hot water run over your body. Let the sound of the water, and the sound of her voice be a barrier between you and the outside world. Sway if you need to. Savor.”
Have the feelings. Know that they are there. Realize that feelings are fleeting things. Be okay with that.
Decide that you are going to do something for yourself that involves neither salt, sugar, nor fat.
One option is to have your first ever pedicure done by someone other than yourself or your relatives.
Be overwhelmed by the options.
Try to relax though you’re not exactly sure what the steps nor the etiquette are.
Make use of the options in the massage chair.
Spend some time imagining the life of the man getting his own pedicure.
Try to look at the book of the woman near you who is getting a pedicure.
Wonder why you didn’t bring your own book.
Marvel at how this pedicure feels a bit like a dental cleaning but, obviously, for your feet.
Don’t think about the waterfall wall.
Be glad that you took this time to do something for yourself.
Spend weird amounts of time looking at your feet for the rest of the day.